Reply to Six kids...eight kids - when did every family turn into the brady bunch?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up with 8 kids in my family (pre birth control). Back then, the Catholic Church told women if the husband wanted sex, it was their duty to have it. They were told "God will provide". If you haven't grown up in a big family you have no idea how hard it is. You are on your own. We were basic middle class...dad made "too much" for college loans but he would not pay even one dime for us to go to college. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

For those here bragging about having so many kids post birth control ...you are out of your minds. and, you are killing the environment having so many people.[/quote]

In fairness, you are painting with a broad brush and being too harsh. My DH grew up in the exact same scenario (and for the same reasons)- 7 kids. His parents were middle class but did help with college. There were many many negatives- yes- but also many positives. For him, the negatives outweighed the positives (we have 3..and none of his siblings have more than 3 kids either). But- saying “you wouldn’t wish it on anyone” is a bit much.

Just trying to be a bit more moderate here- and I despise my ILs (and they despise me as well) but really- there are issues in every family. DH has an overall happier childhood that I did in my normal sized family. [/quote]

People should ask the kids of big families ...not the braggy parents. The parents have no idea what it's like for the kids having to raise themselves. And, since there is ample birth control these days ... why would women want to go for this?[/quote]

I’m the poster above whose DH grew up in a family of 7..

Why would women go for it these days? I am guessing because some women LOVE being PG, having babies and little ones around. I know several women like this- who just love love love kids. Most do not have a large family due to finances but if $ we’re not an object they’d have more kids. Definitely does not apply to me- at all- but surely you’ve met women like this?

None of DH’s siblings have more than 3 kids- which speaks for itself in a way. But I think people on here have the “negatives” of a large family wrong- at least from what my DH says.

Things he hated:
1- Lack of attention from his parents- he is one of the youngest and became an uncle at age 8! Then it was on to the grandkids..
2- Insular and always “family over individual”  type parenting approach- DH is resentful about not being able to do a lot of things as a kid due to lack of time/resources (organized sports and such)- with that large of a family they couldn’t devote time to carting kids all over the place. 
3- big age gap between siblings- was always weird for him and even in his 40s he is not close with his siblings who are a decade+ older. Also weird to have nephews nearly as old as he is
4- lots of drama, with so many people in the family. Lots of strange groups, pairings, and alliances among the siblings. Unequal treatment.
5- less interest in his life and our kids- his parents and older siblings have BTDT and are worn out. His siblings are grandparents now- in many cases- and don’t have much interest in playing aunt and uncle to our young kids

Things that were not an issue
1- $. It was tight and they did not pay in full for college and such but he is not resentful. These things are not unusual regardless of family size
2- being “raised by his siblings”- this just wasn’t the case at all. His older sisters would babysit occasionally but nothing unusual. They agree with this btw.

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