Reply to Please stop asking for “experiences” over gifts for your kids!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wish someone could come talk to my MIL. She is on a very tight fixed income, doesn't have ANY money to spend, and insists on spending beyond her limits hauling over piles of plastic toys that the kids (toddler and preschooler) destroy very quickly.

We aren't even asking for experiences - we would just rather have her spend NO money but come and do something with the kids. We already have a ton of craft supplies and she would just have to show up and decorate an ornament, bake cookies, paint/draw, or just read and play. But... she prefers to bring piles of junk, and then sit on the couch sipping wine. And she wonders why they aren't more attached to her - after all, she brings so many toys! Sigh. [/quote]

I think there is a correlation with people who didn’t grow up with (or still don’t) having a lot. My dad grew up very poor. We were middle class and he definitely expressed his love though buying me things. Now that he’s retired and has even more money, he wants to spend it all on BIG gifts for the kids. He says it’s because he can and wants to (even though I beg him to put it in their 529 if he reallllly wants to spend money on them).

I try to be understanding because I know gift giving is his currency and to him it’s something kids want because he didn’t have it. But my kids are UMC and simply don’t want for anything. And I don’t want them equating love with material things. It’s been hard for me to navigate.[/quote]

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