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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you still don't explain when you felt it was necessary to tell so loud that your kid started crying...[/quote]

He didn’t start crying because I was yelling. I didn’t yell- well, only initially his name, to get his attention because he didn’t hear me in the crowd the first time I called out. He was crying because he was confused/surprised and I think scared that older kid might have been “bad”.  He saw how serious DH and I were. It was the whole scenario. He was cautious at first and looked to me to check if it was ok. And the first two times I gave him the go ahead and followed. I was honestly curious.

Believe me I felt bad when he started crying. He didn’t do anything wrong, he was just being a kid. [/quote]

Your kid did *EXACTLY* what he should have done - he looked at you and you gave him the go ahead!  No wonder he's confused.  He asked you - not once, but twice - if it was OK to go with the bigger kid and you said yes.  Then all of a sudden, for no perceptible reason, you changed your mind.  And the person who you already told him twice was safe, is all of a sudden "bad" and both his parents were oh-so-serious.

"You can't leave my sight in public." and "Always ask before you go somewhere with someone" are both lovely and important rules for little kids.  YOUR job is to actually implement those consistently, not telly our kid it's OK to do something and then decide your gut changed its mind.

As for the actual situation, my son is 10.  I can very easily see him finding a cool bug/fountain/cave and being excited and telling the nearest 7 year old about it.  10/11 is a really transition age where some kids are still "little kids" and some are full-up "pre-teens".  [/quote]

Um, yes, that’s what I explained. I know I gave him mixed signals. And I know it was confusing for him. What I’m asking is,[b] how would you have handled it better??[/b][i]
-op[/quote]

Almost everyone on this thread answered that question.  The very obvious answer is that you should have gone with all three kids to check out the cave/new location.  And said to your kids "great job asking me before you left the area!"[/quote]

Op here. My question is, what would you have done in this specific scenario, where at first you’re ok with it, but then, as you watch them interact, your gut tells you differently.  And just to clarify, the first time they checked with me, AND I was with them. The last time, they did not check with me, and they were leaving the enclosed area with the boy. I totally get that I was sending mixed signals, and I made them confused, but it was an unusual scenario. I also want to make sure they understand they are not to leave my sight with a stranger.  It’s tough because in effect, I gave them the green light that this was a safe person they could trust, but maybe I could have handled it differently.[/quote]

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