Reply to Spouse hiding work-wife

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Spouse hiding work-wife"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not about "letting it happen" by not saying anything.  You want to know whether he will CHOOSE for it to happen without your intervention and without him knowing that you suspect anything. It's about knowing what he will choose when he thinks no one is watching -- if you want to know his true character.

On the flip side,  I fo understand wanting to intervene before things can get worse. But with this approach, you may never fund out the whole truth.[/quote]

I'm on the side of intervene before things get worse. Think about it this way: if you suspected that one of your children was considering doing something self-destructive, would you just allow them to make the decision (e.g., use drugs, drive drunk, cheat on boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.) so that you can know their true character?

OP, to me, it's enough that you feel distant enough from your husband to snoop in his phone. That right there should lead to a conversation about how to connect with each other better, regardless of what you found on his phone. Given what you found on his phone, a conversation about how distant you felt, how hurt you felt when you saw his texts with Susan, your confusion because he'd never mentioned Susan before, and your worry that it's worse than it looks is completely appropriate.

It might "drive the behavior underground" but if your husband loves you and is committed to you, he will offer you reassurances and you will be able to move forward together rather than holding this by yourself and being worried.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics