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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister and I are  from an upper-middle class family. We were given the same opportunities. However, we were always very different, despite a 1.5 year difference (I am the youngest). She chose to get married very young and drop out of college sophomore year. I chose to pursue college education, then grad school. I have a good job. She lives paycheck to paycheck. She had 4 kids young, I only have 1 child.  Our parents have been financially supporting her family for well over a decade. They have no savings.  They've declared bankruptcy before, their house was almost foreclosed too.

Recently she has been saying how she wants her kids to have the same advantages as my son like vacations in Europe, overnight summer camps. She asked me point blank to help with tuition for her 2 oldest kids who she wants to send to a private school and I said no. She is an able bodied woman, her husband is an able bodied man, they live in an area with good public schools. It is not my fault that her husband cannot hold a job, that he gets fired a lot. I also find it terrible that our parents, who are in their mid70s! financially support her.

I am now a black sheep in my family because I said no to her.  Our other siblings, whom she has also hit for money, are all aghast "well, is it that hard for you to help her? You only have 1 child!"

Would you have helped her?

[/quote]

You are already giving her a lot, you just don’t know it,.,,.....she is draining any inheritance you will get from your parents.  You never know if your parents don’t say no to her, they could have health problems later and need medical care that you may have to pay for. [/quote]

+1
Yes, I’m wondering about who is going to support your parents, OP, if they run out of money and/or have significant medical expenses. Do you know how much money they have left? Sounds like you have other siblings who could help your parents, and not just you? How much money have your parents given your S and BIL? You could always respond, “Larlo has advantages instead of siblings; that’s our trade-off. Your kids are lucky to have each other!”  How much money are your other siblings giving her?

I’m curious about how much money you make, and how much money does she want for private school tuition? What happens when the kids are in private school and need money for all the extras that can crop up? Where does she live? What’s her college plan for them? It sounds like you aren’t a fan of hers, don’t feel close to her kids, resent her husband, and don’t want to give her money for things that aren’t essential or emergencies. Totally reasonable. She will feel resentful, but that’s her problem. Are you close with your parents and other siblings? What does your DH say about it all?[/quote]

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