Anonymous wrote:My sister and I are from an upper-middle class family. We were given the same opportunities. However, we were always very different, despite a 1.5 year difference (I am the youngest). She chose to get married very young and drop out of college sophomore year. I chose to pursue college education, then grad school. I have a good job. She lives paycheck to paycheck. She had 4 kids young, I only have 1 child. Our parents have been financially supporting her family for well over a decade. They have no savings. They've declared bankruptcy before, their house was almost foreclosed too.

Recently she has been saying how she wants her kids to have the same advantages as my son like vacations in Europe, overnight summer camps. She asked me point blank to help with tuition for her 2 oldest kids who she wants to send to a private school and I said no. She is an able bodied woman, her husband is an able bodied man, they live in an area with good public schools. It is not my fault that her husband cannot hold a job, that he gets fired a lot. I also find it terrible that our parents, who are in their mid70s! financially support her.

I am now a black sheep in my family because I said no to her. Our other siblings, whom she has also hit for money, are all aghast "well, is it that hard for you to help her? You only have 1 child!"

Would you have helped her?

Anonymous wrote:I bet OP votes Republican

Anonymous wrote:We pay the tuition for my brother's children. We are in the DMV. I had to go to their school's site right now to look it up but it appears as though the tuition that we paid this year was $37,500 each plus probably another $1,000 for fees. We also pay for after care, which is additional.

This isn't about how you feel about your sister, OP. If that's what you think then you're missing the point. This is how you feel about your nieces and nephews. We love our brother's children. We don't have a lot of respect for how their parents are raising them and the choices their parents make so this is our way of helping the children to succeed despite their parents.

You sound pretty immature from your post and you definitely have some baggage. I think that the reason why you're the black sheep is not because you said "no" but likely HOW you said "no." Consider that your apparent disdain for your sister is apparent to others and that they are reacting to your attitude not your actions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay the tuition for my brother's children. We are in the DMV. I had to go to their school's site right now to look it up but it appears as though the tuition that we paid this year was $37,500 each plus probably another $1,000 for fees. We also pay for after care, which is additional.

This isn't about how you feel about your sister, OP. If that's what you think then you're missing the point. This is how you feel about your nieces and nephews. We love our brother's children. We don't have a lot of respect for how their parents are raising them and the choices their parents make so this is our way of helping the children to succeed despite their parents.

You sound pretty immature from your post and you definitely have some baggage. I think that the reason why you're the black sheep is not because you said "no" but likely HOW you said "no." Consider that your apparent disdain for your sister is apparent to others and that they are reacting to your attitude not your actions.

Ignore this idiotic person.

Anonymous wrote:We pay the tuition for my brother's children. We are in the DMV. I had to go to their school's site right now to look it up but it appears as though the tuition that we paid this year was $37,500 each plus probably another $1,000 for fees. We also pay for after care, which is additional.

This isn't about how you feel about your sister, OP. If that's what you think then you're missing the point. This is how you feel about your nieces and nephews. We love our brother's children. We don't have a lot of respect for how their parents are raising them and the choices their parents make so this is our way of helping the children to succeed despite their parents.

You sound pretty immature from your post and you definitely have some baggage. I think that the reason why you're the black sheep is not because you said "no" but likely HOW you said "no." Consider that your apparent disdain for your sister is apparent to others and that they are reacting to your attitude not your actions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister and I are from an upper-middle class family. We were given the same opportunities. However, we were always very different, despite a 1.5 year difference (I am the youngest). She chose to get married very young and drop out of college sophomore year. I chose to pursue college education, then grad school. I have a good job. She lives paycheck to paycheck. She had 4 kids young, I only have 1 child. Our parents have been financially supporting her family for well over a decade. They have no savings. They've declared bankruptcy before, their house was almost foreclosed too.

Recently she has been saying how she wants her kids to have the same advantages as my son like vacations in Europe, overnight summer camps. She asked me point blank to help with tuition for her 2 oldest kids who she wants to send to a private school and I said no. She is an able bodied woman, her husband is an able bodied man, they live in an area with good public schools. It is not my fault that her husband cannot hold a job, that he gets fired a lot. I also find it terrible that our parents, who are in their mid70s! financially support her.

I am now a black sheep in my family because I said no to her. Our other siblings, whom she has also hit for money, are all aghast "well, is it that hard for you to help her? You only have 1 child!"

Would you have helped her?

You are already giving her a lot, you just don’t know it,.,,.....she is draining any inheritance you will get from your parents. You never know if your parents don’t say no to her, they could have health problems later and need medical care that you may have to pay for.

Anonymous wrote:We pay the tuition for my brother's children. We are in the DMV. I had to go to their school's site right now to look it up but it appears as though the tuition that we paid this year was $37,500 each plus probably another $1,000 for fees. We also pay for after care, which is additional.

This isn't about how you feel about your sister, OP. If that's what you think then you're missing the point. This is how you feel about your nieces and nephews. We love our brother's children. We don't have a lot of respect for how their parents are raising them and the choices their parents make so this is our way of helping the children to succeed despite their parents.

You sound pretty immature from your post and you definitely have some baggage. I think that the reason why you're the black sheep is not because you said "no" but likely HOW you said "no." Consider that your apparent disdain for your sister is apparent to others and that they are reacting to your attitude not your actions.

Anonymous wrote:You made the right decision, OP. Once you open your wallet to pay for a big discretionary expense like private school, you will be hit up again and again. We did the same with DH’s folks and then they asked us to help with his younger sister’s expenses. Another thing you realize is that the appreciation doesn’t last long. The minute you stop paying or refuse the next request, you will be resented and criticized. Might as well save your money until there is a real emergency that you can help with. Welcome to the Order of the Black Sheep!