Reply to Anyone meet their spouse after 40 and go on to have biological children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know two people for sure who easily got pregnant in their 40s with their first (and subsequent) children, no fertility treatments needed. One confided to my sister that she had heard how hard it would be but that it happened so easily and that my sister shouldn’t be afraid of all the horror stories. [/quote]
Anecdota isn't data! For those two women you know there are probably two dozen who needed fertility treatments or couldn't have kids. We need to stop lying to women and pretending that it's so easy to just have a baby when you feel like it. I'm 31 and half my friends have had fertility issues, including myself. Just because 2% of 40 somethings will have an oops baby doesn't mean that's the norm. Look at the actual data people![/quote]

PP here. I know that.  I myself had fertility problems and so did my husband (severe MFI, as a matter of fact).  And so does my sister, but she doesn't want kids anyway.  I was just responding to some people who said they didn't know anyone in their 40s who got pregnant with bio children and no fertility treatments.  It does happen and those people shouldn't be accused of lying.[/quote]
I don't think those people are lying, I think our culture is lying. Celebrities who have babies well into their forties, egg freezing clinics, etc etc. It seems like it's accepted as fact that you can put off having a baby until later when that's really not the case. I just wish it wasn't taboo to say "this is going to be borderline impossible unless you're really, really luck or really, really rich" [/quote]

I used to think like you but a professional changed my mind. I was 39 when we were trying for our second, and after four months, I went to a fertility clinic because I was convinced I'd need IVF. They ran my numbers and the doctor said "these are average for your age but since you already have a living child, we know you are most likely fertile. Past evidence of fertility is the single biggest success factor in "older" women." We still went with various tests, took the IVF class, etc. and then got pregnant naturally.  I emailed the doctor to tell her I would be dropping out and she wrote back a version of "told you so."

If a fertility specialist was optimistic about my chances at 39.5, it was probably based on hard, cold quantitative data.  [/quote]

See and I had the opposite experience.  Pregnant on the first try at 35, and super easy pregnancy and delivery.  I had no reason to believe I'd have any kind of infertility problem.  Started TTC #2 at 37.  I'm now 42, we tried everything under the sun to have a second child, and I have had zero pregnancies in the 6 years we've been trying.  I also heard the same thing from the many REs I went to see during this time.  They told me I was "sub-fertile" but not "infertile" because all my tests were normal, and no male factor.  Now I'm 42 and we recently gave up TTC after 6 years with not a single positive pregnancy test.  [/quote]

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