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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am interested in knowing whether this is a cultural thing among some white people. We are not white and our families keep feeding and feeding and feeding us and their guests.  It would be devestatingly rude for someone to be hungry in their homes.

However, I do tell my own young kids “last call” at dinner time only, because otherwise they suddenly decide they are hungry at bedtime as a stalling technique.[/quote]

Some white people maybe.  My mom will make ten times the amount of food needed for any type of guest.  The biggest problem with being her guest is trying to leave without being overfull.  [/quote]

Should we start discussing some other issues as "cultural" things, like that would make it OK? You may be interested to know the demographics of the vast majority of people I've met who are on time, drive well, speak English properly, and "trust banks." [/quote]

DP -- I get your point, and I don't think it is a race issue, but food is an area around which there are a lot of cultural "norms."  I agree that strict policies around food are the result of personal issues (OCD, disordered eating, etc), but I do think there are some cultures that highly value hospitality and strongly associate food with that, and for which it would be unacceptable to not provide abundant and frequent refreshments.  In other words, all kinds of people can have these tendencies, but there are some cultures that so strongly frown upon it that it's repressed, and others for which other cultural norms (privacy, frugality) may encourage, or at least no inhibit, such behavior.[/quote]

I remember two particular funerals that happened one year. One was my cousin's daughter. The other was my FIL. My extended family was mostly Lutheran. After the cousin's daughter's service, an entire wall of the sanctuary rolled away revealing tables like in a chain family restaurant, with a huge assortment of ham, scalloped potatoes, meatballs, green bean casseroles, salads, carrot and celery sticks, pickles, bars, etc (done by the church ladies). This was in a farming community. My ILs were UMC--he was in the oil leasing business--Presbyterians, living in a lovely home in a very nice suburb. After his funeral the church had coffee and some very thin packaged cookies. These were all people who wear suits and ties to work.

From what I remember of holidays with relatives in my family, there really wasn't much snacking--probably midafternoon coffee and leftover desserts or something. But they pretty much all came out of farm families originally, and holiday meals were served at regular mealtimes. The big holiday meal would be at noon, not in the evening. Supper (supper was the evening meal, lunch was the midafternoon pick-me-up) would be leftovers from the holiday meal. None of this feeling faint due to blood sugar dropping during a 7 hour gap between a light breakfast and the main event, which is what happens at my SIL's house (although she's not maniacal about "kitchen is closed" because DH has always been a skinny eater who has 5-6 meals a day).

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