Reply to After working 20 years became SAHM - how to protect self financially

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, maybe you don't have to ask for a postnup but you could brinkg up some of the elements in conversation which might bring you peace of mind. Bring up the concept of maintaining your retirement benefits at least. Also separate, no questions asked, spending money. Clarify that his salary is completely joint funds. What other household tasks will be added to your roster? This is more relationship insurance than a financial plan. I'm in CA so I automatically get half but if that is not the case in your area make sure you legally share on all assets.

I also highly recommend maintaining working skills, experience, connections as much as possible. Easy to say, tough to do.

I am a few years into being a SAHM. I have a PhD and left a career to stay with my children (plan was 1 year but its been 7!). My husband became a controlling nightmare who suddenly expected his paycheck to be his ONLY contribution.

After trying to reason with him for several years its over and looking at my job prospects are not fun.

I see the value of a postnup. A person considering pausing their career is taking on risk and moving to a weaker position. This postnup could even the playing field and share the risk. Ultimately the working spouse get many benefits for himself and his children by having a SAHP. The SAHS also get benefits with with many drawbacks.

If the working spouse is willing to say I value your work as a SAHP to the point I am willing to risk some of my salary and acknowledge you are giving some up too, then you have an equal partner.[/quote]

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