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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP.  Not sure if you are still reading this thread, but in case, offering my two cents.  First, I think it is important that you do not blame yourself for his behavior.  Cheating is never acceptable.  And especially not in your case (where you maintained your weight, still had regular sex, put effort into your marriage, etc).  Cheating in his case maybe reflects general malaise/boredom with the routine of raising a family, missing passion, feeling unattractive - none of which have anything to do with you.  His response to those feelings was immature and selfish and generally just shitty as you know.

In any case, if he is truly remorseful, I absolutely think your marriage can be saved if that is what you want.  He needs to explore not only why he cheated, but why he couldn't communicate with you whatever he was going through that led him to stray.  Maybe he has some "weird" fetish and was uncomfortable sharing that with you?  I believe that an individual should not be defined by one misdeed...your husband has many layers and probably many wonderful qualities too which is the reason you married him in the first place!  Marriages survive infidelity, mental illness, substance abuse...for better or worse, right?  As long as the person is willing to do the work, why not give him a chance?

I would be careful about confiding in your friends -- as you can see by the responses on this board, there are some very judgemental people out there who will wonder why you are staying and will never respect your relationship going forward if you do stay.  You don't need a bunch of ninnies gossiping behind your back.  So tell only those whom you trust completely to support you in whatever decision you make.

I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.  [/quote]

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