Reply to Did anyone have an adoption fall through at the hospital

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Did anyone have an adoption fall through at the hospital "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do not use the word "mother" when explaining my adopted daughter's origins to her.  I am her mother, the birth parents are the birth lady and the birth man.  In no way would i assign a word like mother or father to them.  My daughter can assign such terms to them if she wishes when she is older. [/quote]

That’s really sad for your daughter.

Like it or not, that is her history, that’s how she came into this world. I don’t understand people who adopt, then try to erase or minimize the child’s past. [/quote]

The choice of words has nothing to do with erasing someone from a child's life.  [/quote]

Birth lady?  Yes that is about erasing a relationship.

My kid’s first mother made the incredibly hard decision to continue a pregnancy in difficult decisions.  She then made the even harder decisions to let him become part of my family because she knew that keeping him wouldn’t be good for him.  Both of these things were parenting.  Making decisions that are best for your child, rather than easy for you is parenting and parenting well.  Calling her “birth lady” is like calling her a doula.  Her role is far bigger than just being there for his birth.[/quote]

Birth lady and first mother are both offensive.  So, what are you?  Second mother, mother of last resort, back up mother, caretaker as you are not the real mother, fake mother??[/quote]

Look, if you as the adoptive mother feel offended or undermined by the term "first mother,"
then you should not adopt.

FWIW, my friend who did two open adoptions refers to the birth mothers as "your mother" or "Mama [Name]" to her kids. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics