Reply to Stepparents, how much money have you spent on/do you spend on your spouse's children?

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Reply to "Stepparents, how much money have you spent on/do you spend on your spouse's children?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate that if you aren’t completely bonded with your step child you’re considered an awful person.

My SS bio mom actually thanked me for never crossing the line and trying to be his “mom”

We don’t have custody, so his bio mom is actively in his life. He knows I’m a trusted adult he can depend on, but his mom is his mom. I’ve been in his life since he was in elem school (he’s not in Hs) and this is how it’s always been. I never wanted to make him feel uncomfortable by forcing affection, or disrespect his mom.

I think it all depends on the custody arrangements and age of SC. [/quote]

I agree. I have the same situation you describe above. I feel like I am a trusted adult for my stepchild, and I will definitely be here to give her advice, or to provide assistance as she gets older. However, I simply do not feel a financial obligation to her, anymore than I feel one for a niece or nephew. She has two wonderful parents to look out for her and I am just a bonus adult who cares about her.

Being a stepmom is "damned if you do, damned if you don't" sometimes. [b]Step in too much, and you are accused of trying to take a bio parent's place. Step back too much, you are accused of hating the stepkids.[/b] [/quote]

I agree with PP. I tried very hard to be there for my step-child for the past three years. All I get back is ungratefulness and my step-child just ignores me or tells me how "I have no respect for you, because you're an awful person." As of this week, I am freeing myself from anything beyond food, shelter, and medical care. If things are not appreciated, why should I continue to be doing them?[/quote]

This is what most people do not seem to understand.  It feels impossible at times.  [/quote]

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