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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Okay, except the previous list was definitely for parents with full time jobs--hence all the items about daycare closures.[/quote]

And it was ridiculously over complicated.  Default parent does not equate to single parent.  If it does, you should not have kids, or you need a nanny.

If you are doing that entire list on a regular basis, you are likely in a "mommy tracked" position, because it leaves very little time to focus on your career.[/quote]

np: I don't believe it was overly complicated.  I looked it over and I have done everything on there as the default parent.  Yes, this is what parents do as the default and why it's work/life balance is so hard!  And why people who are not the default do not get it.  Do you think work/life balance would be hard if all parenting consisted of was dropping off kid at daycare and picking back up?

Do I do everything on there every day?  No, but there are always a few "extra" items every week that must be taken care of.  This is a snapshot of things to do this week:

-- DS also needs extra special lotioning every day because he also gets eczema if he doesn't that end up in bleeding scabby patches.
-- DS needs saline solution in his nose before bed because he is also prone to nosebleeds in dry weather
-- need to check over and pay bill from eye doctor that just came in for DD, who got new glasses
-- need to remember to submit bill for DD's glasses to insurance
-- have to submit contract for DD's summer camp due next week
-- need to make appt for DS's annual checkup if it's going to be anywhere around his birthday
-- need to remember to make DD brings water bottle and dresses warmly for her field trip on Wednesday
-- need to respond to birthday party invitation from one of DS's classmates, not sure if we are going because it's far.  if we are, get present.
-- DD wants to do a chess tournament at her school, signup deadline is this week
-- need to buy DD new boots because she's outgrown hers
-- need to buy christmas presents
-- there is a "share" at DD's school on Friday, which is when parents come in right at dropoff time to view something the kids have done.

That's just all the current extras I'm thinking about, along with the general make sure kids are fed, dressed, get sleep, bathed, teeth brushed.  Next week, there will be different things.  Probably some of you will say some of it is unnecessary or "takes 3 minutes!" to do, but it has to be remembered and done.  I think I get like 4 weeks out the year total when all is quiet and there is nothing but the normal routine.

[/quote]

There you are...more score keeping.  I'm surprised you did not put, tuck them in, get them dressed.  News flash, it's called being a parent.  You really included making sure they're fed and dressed as items you undertake?  SMH.[/quote]

You completely missed my point which was not about score-keeping.  It was about the mental load of parenting which usually falls to the default parent (usually the woman) unless both make an active effort to avoid falling into this pattern.  Picking apart the list and pointing little things to ridicule as small tasks not even worth noting is just a way in which parenting (women's) work is devalued and why being a default parent is a thankless job.  Someone has to keep track of these things.  No one cares unless it's not done.

I've always thought this was worth a read:

https://www.workingmother.com/this-comic-perfectly-explains-mental-load-working-mothers-bear#page-14

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