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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dc is quirky and a little dorky and never gets invited or included by kids at school despite hosting endless playdates and parties. I’ve always wondered though, do the parents of the popular kids ever have to suffer?  They seem to reap benefit after benefit. Endless invitations, sycophants kissing up to get in their inner circles, preferential treatment at the school and sports, the list goes on.  Honest question- what are their grievances?

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DS1 is popular. My grievances are the same as yours, except for DS2. It would be great if something "trickled down" to DS2, but no. I don't even think he will be admitted to DS1's middle school. It makes me want to rant and set the school on fire, but where we live there are not a ton of private options and public schools are a no-go. So I will quietly seethe...and stop donating money.

It does influence how I parent DS1. I talk to him a lot about being inclusive and for parties and things he either has to invite his class or a much smaller subset of boys. But the truth is he has a lot of friends and doesn't get to spend time with them as much as he likes. He would be in big, huge, unbelievable trouble if I ever found out he was bullying someone, or telling someone they couldn't sit with him at lunch, but I don't control who he is genuinely friends with. I don't think he understands yet how different his brother is. I am protecting him somewhat because I don't want him to worry, but knowing may also make him a better human. I don't know. We'll probably have a heart a heart when he starts asking questions about why DS2 is not going to his school.

DS2 has a couple friends now in elementary school who reciprocate, so he is Ok for another year or two. I have no idea what will happen to him in middle school, and it keeps me up at night.[/quote]

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