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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact you’re not getting specific names speaks Columbus, right? It’s a unicorn. I’m not trying to be mean but these are the kids that Maddox, Newton, Ieps and social
Skills classes were made for. You sound nice but you’re just not the first one to face this exact predicament. And we already told you the best options.
[/quote]

+1000  OP is chasing a unicorn.  I am the pp with the 11 with ASD/ADHD and the number 1 reason DS is going to a SN school for middle school is at the recommendation of his neuropsych, Dr. David Black.  OP, what schools does your educational consultant and neuropsych recommend?  I am sure you are paying them a lot of $$$$$, you should listen to them.

The good news is that once your child is older, you can always apply to mainstream privates if that is your goal.  By then there will have a much clearer picture of your child's abilities and what kind of supports are needed.[/quote]

We are early in the testing/consulting process, so no recs yet.   But we are in mainstream preK now based on prior nneuropsychologist recommendation, which isn’t K, I know, but....   [b]Also, for what it’s worth, we were told by KKI that kiddo has good chance of becoming subclincal at some point.  [/b]We know this happened with two of his cousins by age 9.   They went public (different state) and were denied IEP.  So, all of this is running in the back of my mind as we move this process.[/quote]

OP, you have one foot in hopeful denial land and one foot in reality and that is why it is so hard to advise you. I have no idea what to tell you other than my kid is in mainstream private and they are not trucking with a kid who needs help. They are not equipped to do so. You need to do some self introspection on this process. That is what I see. WTF cares where your child ends up  [b]you meet them where they are.[/b] That is literally what we are all doing. Get there.[/quote]

My kid with ASD/ADHD made it on the spectrum by one point on the ADOS when he was 4.  I guess you can say he "barely" made it on the spectrum and most people who knew him at that age (and even now at 11) did not think he has any diagnosis at all - I get this reaction all the time including this past weekend - but it is one thing to present as NT outside school and another to be happy and thriving at school.

Everyone in our family attended private schools like the Big 3 but in an even bigger city from k-12 and beyond.  According to our neuropsych, DS can manage the academics just fine anywhere.  However, I want him to be happy and like school, have friends, etc.

Just because your child with ASD can manage a mainstream private school does not mean he should be sent there.   If your child has ASD, they will qualify for an IEP.  Yes, even super bright one.

[/quote]

Excellent advice.  My DS (still no diagnosis yet, IEP is under developmental delay) could probably have coped without his IEP or in a private had we gotten in at 3-4 when his social differences were less apparent.  But, he's doing SO much better with the IEP supports that helped him transition to the demands of kindergarten and learn the basic skills he's now building on.  Plus, I honestly believe the public schools are more demanding and rigorous than most privates in early elementary, and that this is really good for kids with learning differences if they are properly supported, because they get a lot of practice that they need and focus on the basics.  Whereas at a tony private, I can imagine that the attitude is more "oh, no need to push reading and writing; our bright children will pick it up out of the air because their parents are smart and read to them a lot."  [/quote]

And, my child was the opposite and needed a lot of support early on which he got at his small private.  They heavily pushed reading and writing and other academics which was one of the reasons he thrived as he loves learning.  He does far better being pushed ahead.  The IEP was a joke for us and essentially useless.  The private did such a good job preparing him that reality is because of that foundation and the private services we did, he could have been successful at public or another private.  It really is individual to their kids. Our child did pick up reading easily young, but very few can do that.  But, it probably had to do with all the services he was in as well as what we did at home.  Right now, he'd do much better in a more demanding and rigorous program.  Point being every child is different.  We heavily pushed early intervention with private services, work with him and got him to the right schools and that made the difference for him (but obviously its very kid specific and this is pretty rare).  He's learned to cope with the areas he still struggles with and they continue to improve.  The public we are in is not demanding or rigorous. [/quote]

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