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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]40+, male, and married for just over 20 years. The last 3-4 of which have been awful. Did couples counseling twice and she ended it both times. Been seeing a shrink myself for various related and non related issues. 
I’ve purposely changed my schedule in the past 6 months, aiming to be out of the house more (I work part of the time from a home office), and make more social relations outside the marriage. I’ve also started doing more sports and going to the gym after a couple of years I’ve really neglected myself. 
Thing is this… our sex life is dead. We’ve  probably had sex 5 times in the past 3 years. Non in a year now. We are basically not intimate with each other and she shows little to no physical affection towards me.
Few days ago the she asked me if I was intimate with another women… and out of instinct I said: “it’s no longer your business”. 
I’m not actually intimate with another women, but I’m definitely more open to it as this situation prolongs. We have 2 kids, and I would like to keep living under the same roof as them. Divorce would also be very hard on me financially. And truthfully, I still love my wife in many ways. However, I also think/feel that 43 is way to early to give up on any kind of physical relationship. Was I wrong to tell her it’s no longer her business as she’s made it clear she has no interest, or obligation, in sex with me? 
[/quote]

you sound like an @$$.

seeing a shrink for various issues, failed attempts at couples counseling, failed attempts at connecting with your wife, avoiding your family and wife for sports/gym/more office time.

it is not clear to me what you do for the family or household or kids or wife. [/quote]

If his wife has already checked out of the marriage (or worse, is actually having an affair), then no amount of couples counseling, attempting to connect, or "being around her" will work. You can't blame the man for trying and failing if he's got nothing to work with because she's done. He was never going to succeed no matter what he did. There's no point in telling him to "try harder" when her desire level for him is zero.[/quote]

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