Reply to please tell me this won't be so bad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oof, OP. Yes, it sounds bad. But I also think you are catastrophizing in a harmful way. Quitting your job over the volunteer requirement without talking to the school, asking about scheduling, asking about specific jobs, etc. was not a rational decision. What I am hearing here sounds a lot like your mental illness, and I think it's a good idea you are getting help.

My kids go to a school with an even higher volunteer commitment (2 hrs a week per child plus yearly commitment). I work full-time at a demanding job, as does my husband. So I get it. But the schools know parents work. They want to work with you. So I get my hours done, but in chunks. I also use professional skills on my own time, and that also counts. Finally, the reality is that these hours are rarely rigid. Although it gets others upset, there are plenty of parents at my kids' school who just simply don't do it. There are others who cannot do it and the school works with them. It's simply not going to be as rigid as you are insisting. It's just not. And there will be after care, babysitting, nanny options, etc. for pickup.

So my question is are you addressing the mental health issues that have led you down this path? Have you discussed your anxiety and rigidity with your counselor? It's terrific you have a counselor, that's a great first step. [/quote]

We did talk to the school. They told us it's their decision whether to charge us for missed hours or revoke DD's admission, with the tone that said "If you're asking, we're leaning towards expulsion." It was horrible. I almost cried right there in the interview, because they were so rigid and DH was giving me that look that said we'd talk about it later. But what was there to talk about?

I honestly don't understand 2 hours a week with a demanding job. I don't. When you have specific hours (and keep in mind customers were already annoyed that I was going to have a time zone change), I don't see being forced to volunteer as realistic.

Yes, I've talked to my current counselor. This all stems from hyper-strict parents and a miserable childhood. I feel like I'm being vaulted right back into it. Not just feels - I AM being vaulted right back into the rules and discipline and punishments and I'm not sure how to cope. We're working on it, but even he says it's not a healthy situation - said homeschooling would be the best FOR ME if I could cope with losing my job and if it was best for DD. I'm not willing to go that far yet.[/quote]

Of course they were more rigid in the interview. That's because they want people to take the situation seriously. That doesn't mean that the requirement is rigid in reality. I also wonder if your mental state caused you to overreact to what was said.

Your decision to quit was irrational, and I think the product of mental illness which causes you to catastrophize. A rational approach would have been to take leave or vacation at the beginning of the school year, to get the lay of the land, and then to spend time sorting out logistics. I feel for you, because I know mental illness clouds the mind, but this really isn't as impossible as you are making it.

My DH and I have managed 2 hrs a week per kid for years and we have demanding jobs. We do weekend shifts, we do at-home work, and once a month we do in-classroom and go into work late. It's been years and it's been fine. In fact, enjoyable much of the time. [/quote]

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