Reply to Divorce over lack of chores?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You flirting with other men is completely on you.  It is indefensible and has nothing to do with your DH.   I suspect you are using your dissatisfaction with your DH to justify your actions.  Yet, if you've outsourced as much as you say you have, how much could there possibly be for you to do?

I had 3 kids in 3 years, DH and both WOH full time and could afford to outsource NOTHING.  Two of my kids also have SNs and we had therapy/specialist appointment on top of everything else.  My DH also has ADHD and, literally, doesn't see things that need doing or forgets/gets distracted.  So, rather than whine about how much he's disrespecting me and texting inappropriately with other men, we worked on what changes we could make to make sure my needs were met and he wasn't set up for failure. [b]A simple list is all it took.[/b]  I make him a list of what needs to be done (because he doesn't prioritize the way I do) and he does it.  What I don't expect is for him to have to do everything.  I would much rather SAH than have to WOH FT. [/quote]

NP. At the direction.of our marriage  counselor, I made my ADHD DH a list of small, concrete things he could do to show love, since he is an inattentive workaholic.

He was.supposd to pick one thing a day to do. Instead, he lost the list.

You are lucky to have a DH who is willing to work with you on the ADHD thing, PP.[/quote]

I almost laughed coffee thru my nose on this comment! [/quote]

First PP here.  I don't really consider myself "lucky" (that would be if DH didn't have ADHD/depression).  But!  The only way our marriage works is because DH recognizes the challenges ADHD/depression causes.  These issues were not present until after we had kids - that's when the coping mechanisms that were successful for DH previously no longer worked.  DH used to lose lists as well.  Then, I started texting him the lists.  If he loses his phone, I use "Google My Phone" and locate it.  If the phone battery dies, he's got a power pack.  Having a DH with ADHD is far more like having an extra child than what OP has described. [/quote]

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