Reply to I ran into a neighbor with someone who wasn't his wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wish someone had told me about my now exDH's affairs.  It would have allowed me to end our relationship earlier and maybe to have had a better life.  The fact that none of our many mutual personal and professional friends blew the whistle on him to me was yet another level of betrayal.

Infidelity is a form of sexual abuse if it is done without the consent of the partner.  My experience was traumatizing.  Not only did I lose a partner, but I lost people I thought were friends and an entire professional network.  And the silence of society around that has made life very difficult.

Your silence makes you a bystander in support of the perpetrator.

The silence of society around inappropriate sexual behavior is exactly what promotes our culture of rape, abuse and harrassment of women.  Those of you who keep these secrets are no better than the men around the Harvey Weinsteins of the world who say, "I didn't know." "Maybe she wants it like that." "It's not my place to say anything.". "I might lose something if I tell."

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+100. This isn't Rocket science.  Just tell her "Hey Barb.  This is awkward, but I saw Bob at a restaurant where he was kissing another woman.  I don't want to presume anything about your relationship, but if it were my husband, I'd want to know. Obviously I will keep this to myself and won't mention it again."[/quote]

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