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[quote=Anonymous]You have to say something.

More specifically, your husband has to talk to his siblings and together they need to say something. Your ILs are sending you the plans for their house and telling you they're building this room for you. To smile now and say  nothing is to de facto agree to their plans. It doesn't have to be awkward - but there will be resentment and hurt feelings if nobody stays in the bunk room - especially if all of you continue saying nothing to keep the peace. DH could email them something like the following:

Dear mom and dad, 
I looked at the plans for the house and its a very cool  design! The bunk room will be really fun for the kids when they're older. What a great place for the cousins to get together at camp grandparents! We're looking forward to coming to visit but will need to stay at a hotel while there since the adults will need privacy and the toddlers are on a schedule. 
Love, 
DH

If the ILs push back about the whole family staying at the bunk room, then DH can explain that he's uncomfortable sleeping and getting dressed in the same room as his brother's wife, etc. that as adults you need privacy, etc. [/quote]

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