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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your in laws don't actually consider you and DH (or any of your DH's siblings and spouses) to be adults[/quote]

OP here. WOW. Yes I 100% agree. I hadn't thought of that before, but I think that gets to the root of all our issues. We're in our 30s btw. [/quote]

NP. This was the first thing I thought of reading the original post. The ILs refuse to see their adult children and their spouses as adults, hence the bunkroom and imperious decree that everyone will spend every holiday there. Zero sense that adults, with their own complicated lives, are involved here.[/quote]

OP here. I agree and just never thought of it this way. I think this really sums up my feelings about other things as well. I want to assert our own family's independence, vacations, holidays, you name it. DH and I got together very young and it was easy for us to just go along with what they did. Our lives have changed so much in 15 years and now we're crazy busy, have children, weird schedules and inlaws haven't helped or bent how they do things at all. [/quote]

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