Reply to Requests from a Sibing who is there for Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am never doing this to my kids.

Lingering well past the age of a normal, decent lifespan, illness after illness, treating and testing and poking and prodding and for what?  So my kids, who I would die for, can burn themselves out and be miserable?  So I can lose all my faculties and then my dignity?

No fucking thanks.

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I'm with you. Once I am diagnosed with something life threatening and am past a certain age or once I can tell I am losing it, I want to chose my death date. Up until then I shall party, eat anything I want, see the friends and family I want to see, tell everyone how much I love them and then I want to pass away in a deep slumber. I want my funeral to be festive and fun-a celebration of life.[/quote]

This is great in theory, but I work with people with different kinds of dementia (including alzheimer's)- by the time you have a diagnosis- even an early one, which we have tons of people with, you kind of are no longer of "sound mind" to make those decisions. Its the cruelest of dilemmas :(

Sorry OP, and if you get to a point where you need day time help- seek out respite centers, I've worked in some and all have been truly a great place for the people there (although these were all private ones/ NPOs)[/quote]

I've seen dementia patients kicked out of adult day care.  What is the caregiver supposed to do then?  I've also seen 80+ year old people taking care of their spouses with dementia because if they didn't do it, all of their savings would be spent on nursing home expenses for their spouse leaving them penniless in the process.  They do the best that they can, their families struggle to help them from a distance but their grown kids have responsibilities in their own homes, too.

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