Reply to Not going to cheat, but need help getting over emotional infatuation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. It's been over a week and things have not gotten easier, probably because I'm not  taking some of the good advice posted above. It took less than a day for my coworker to wonder what is wrong, asking if I was mad at her. I tried cutting her off and staying professional in email response. By mid-week I was back into the limerent stupor of wanting her attention. Over the weekend I texted her and she replied with a picture of her and a friend she was out with.

I have to see her soon, in an unavoidable situation. My goal remains to STFU about my feelings and avoid making it worse. But I fear what seeing her in person is going to be like. I expect DCUM scorn after dredging this thread up.
[/quote]

No scorn here but...take a step back and think about the kind of person you want to be. Think about your options here, and where you will be in 1 year if you pursue one option or the other. If you continue to let this escalate, there is a very good chance you will look back at this point where you went wrong...you knew it was getting dangerous, but you made a conscious decision to let yourself go deeper down the hole. If you guys continue down this path, there's a limited (and decreasing) number of possible outcomes: either it will develop into a full blown affair (which you've said vehemently you don't want), or one of your spouses will come across your communications and be (very) hurt, OR you'll be faced with having to try and cut things off when you've caught feelings even MORE than you have now. None of those are easy or ideal...the easiest and best solution from where you are at this point is to stop all outside contact with her. And [b]if she reaches out to ask what's up, you need to be direct and polite in shutting it down. I'm talking "I fear our communications have begun to verge into somewhat inappropriate territory; I need to be clear that I am happily married and respect and love my wife. Going forward I think it's best that we limit our contact exclusively to work-related matters." [/b]Even if she plays dumb / acts weird about it, she knows exactly what she's doing and the message will be received.  [/quote]

That would be creepy and weird. Do not send that message. It also makes you a permanent hostage to a harassment complaint if she decides to make one.[/quote]

Eh, I dunno. Maybe not exactly those words, but that is the message that needs to be conveyed and he seems to be failing at doing in subtly. He needs to "sober up" and make  himself definitively shut the door [/quote]

So I don't disagree that I need to sober up. But if I had to bet, I'd bet strongly that she has no idea I feel this way. To her this is friendship and I would probably stun her if I shared this melodrama.[/quote]

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