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[quote=Anonymous]Actually, I come at it from the side of having been the victim and feeling for the victim. Having been in her shoes, I really really hated when the mean girls said sorry for the sake of the adults who wanted to smooth things over and pretend kids were all sweetness and light and innocence who all got along, expecting me to go along with this new (often insincere) "friendship." You as an adult don't get along with everyone; you're not friends with everyone; why would you expect that of a child? As I said, I expect my daughter to treat everyone with kindness and respect. I certainly don't expect her to be friends with, or hug and makeup with, the boy who is tormenting her at school this year. I think it's a lot healthier to teach her that he's having a hard time this year, she still has to be kind, but not that she has to go beyond that into some idealized childhood where everyone is friends.[/quote]

This.  The victim should not be forced to be "friends" with the mean girls or be made to feel that she is the one to blame for not feeling like giving them hugs.  [/quote]

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