Reply to When did you realize you didn't like your mom (or dad)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love my parents. They're good people, generous and kind. They've taught my brother and I good values that would benefit us throughout life.

Unfortunately, I don't like being around my mom, who's the worst kind of micromanager and a nit-picking perfectionist. The realization started dawning around my 20s, but it was manageable b/c I lived far away. Now that mom lives close, our daily interactions really magnify our dysfunctional dynamic. I'm in my 40s and still being parented on every little thing. It's exhausting. [/quote]

I think that sometimes, people feel like they lose purpose. I don't know you or your mom, so this is just a wild guess, but as a new father (I just had a daughter who is 4 months), I now feel this whole new sense of purpose that I never thought possible.

I do fear however (already, I know!), that when she grows older and independent one day, and doesn't need me anymore, what will happen to that sense of purpose?

Will I try to inject myself into her life, or just diminish into irrelevance?

Maybe your mom is going through the same, or maybe she has always been this way.

I don't know. I am also the PP who spoke about losing his father to cancer, so I also have the perspective that there isn't always a lot of time left.

If you love them, find a way to focus on the good things and not on the things that bug you.[/quote]

This is wise advice, thank you! I should try harder to look for the best in my mom, who is becoming frail.[/quote]

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