Reply to DW bad temper - don't know what to do

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[quote=Anonymous]OP pretty much started his post by saying DW ruined Valentines Day. OP said in 2nd post that his wife WAS still nursing (02/14/2017 23:56) along with her FT WOH job and 3 hour commute (1.5hr each way!!!) then puts kids to bed at night one of whom is still very clingy and nursing (I did read and comprehend tho I am not PP you referred to.) I am truly trying to turn this around and see it as if this were a battered or emotionally abused wife writing but while I have a huge amount of compassion for everyone in this scenario I cannot get past the idea of OP setting himself up as so blameless in everything: if you come to DCUM there has to be some insight as to your part in the hell. I cannot see how - if OP as he said hadn't raised his even tempered voice before using this moment to tell this-as OP described angry/out of control woman in the heat of this that she needs patience being a very productive opening to what is truly an out of control situation. There instead has to be some recognition that the life you two have set up is unsustainable and unhealthy for all. Yep - OP may have a hard life? I did not see where he said that he might have a FT WOH job too (?) and OP say he does lots of the housework, but if you're adding on say even 1 hr to DW day (probably closer to 90m) if she only does bedtime with nursing (none in AM??) I just don't get why, given the stress level why he thinks coming in late to start making a 'celebratory dinner' on a week night was a great choice - especially as you'd think he must have already recognized that there was so much stress at home around meals!  I don't think anyone is saying that OP's W being rough with kids isn't wrong but again in OP second post he goes on AGAIN about his remarkable even temper v DW anger but if he was so concerned - why hasn't he addressed before? Who cares about Valentines Day and how is he protecting the kids if he comes off mostly as prideful that he "rarely raises his voice": the family is out of control. DH or DW - it doesn't sound like either are looking out for the DC. If anyone needs counseling it's them [/quote]

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