Reply to Missing college student in the Dominican Republic from Ashburn

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.   [/quote]

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.[/quote]

They should have stepped in, took her by the arm and led her back to the room to sleep.  I had to do this to a friend (we were in our 30's).  She was drunk and some guy just "knew" he was hooking up that night.  Yes, she was flirting and "all over him", but no way was that happening on "my watch".  I came between them, told him to please move along because it wasn't happening tonight and took her back with me to our hotel room.  Friends look out for each other.  Sadly, her "friends" failed her that morning.[/quote]

If her friends knew she intended to have sex with the boy, why did they not come by her room or the beach in the morning to see how it was going?

Instead, they just went on a day trip, and gave her privacy.[/quote]

Ah, this one is interesting.
Do you want your friends coming by your room to see how sex with a random stranger is going?[/quote]

Right? People here are out of touch.

The only person to blame for this tragedy is the girl. She made a dumb, bad choice and has paid the ultimate price.

It's devastating and maddening, yes, but the blame [b]cannot be shifted to [/b]the hotel, her friends, or the guy she was with.

I can think of a dozen or more similar dumb, bad choices I made at her age, but I somehow survived. Luck was on my side each of those times. Here are just a few:
1. met a guy day 1 of spring break, hours of landing & checking into our resort when I was 19, and ditched dinner with my girlfriends to hook up with him
2. went night swimming in Punta Cana when I was 18 (or 20 - not sure which trip I did this)
3. met a local in DR & agreed to go out on his boat with him at night to look at the stars
4. got in a sketchy unmarked van in Chinatown with my friend while shopping for knockoffs. The van drove around the streets while we "shopped" inside. On the same trip, was guided down an alleyway to a secret entrance and walked through a literal sweatshop up 6 flights of rickety stairs to shop for knockoffs. 
5. got super drunk in OCMD during beach week fresh out of HS & had to go to the hospital - my parents never found out. 
6. was a passenger in a car multiple times with a driver who blew just under .08 using their little pocket breathalyzer b/c we didn't realize that .06 is still freaking impaired (and that those pocket breathalyzers aren't super accurate)[/quote]

And bow do you know none of them could be "blamed?"[/quote]

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