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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thomas and Laura[/quote]

You're a sweater-set kind of gal, and a pearl-clutcher with a flair for the dramatic. When Laura turned four you got her a first set of pearls for Christmas, and let her wear them to bed that night with her new Lanz of Salzburg flannel nightgown (of which you have a matching one).  You like red lipstick, and sort of wish you looked like Veronica Lake. You and your husband have only missionary position intimacy on Sunday mornings while the kids are allowed to watch cartoons, and although you wish the two of you could mix things up a bit, the one time he suggested anal you contemplated leaving him for ever even thinking of such a dirty thing. You considered discussing it with your best friend and sister, but ultimately didn't because you worried if you stayed with him, what they would think when they looked across the table at him on Thanksgiving.

DH is an accountant who pretends to be outgoing but meets that other woman's husband in the parking lot of a big box store to join him for decompressing before heading home after work each evening. He is tired of the missionary sex too, and was disappointed you refused shower sex because it would mess up your hair, which is why he suggested anal as an alternative. Really, he'd just be happy if you'd get on top. Fun fact: DH taught you to do kegels. You wrinkled your nose and tried to shut him up as soon as possible but secretly do them at every red light while running errands.

You loved Thomas, and love putting him in a turtleneck and fair aisle sweater with cords in the winter, but after having Laura and seeing all the dress-up possibilities with a daughter you now wish Thomas were a boy. You are annoyed by your older relatives who call him Tommy. You call your mother "Mother" to her face, love that Laura calls you "Mommy" and don't realize that by age 14 she'll be calling you "Mother." Laura will also annoy you by telling everyone at her new high school that her name is La-la. Thomas will grow up to do fine, but not be spectacular in any way. He will marry a girl who is dull and plain, and you will neither like nor dislike her. They will have a cat named Muffins who is allergic to other cats.  [/quote]

Not T and L's mother but this is hysterical!  [/quote]

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