Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 18:42     Subject: Re:Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:DS: Tyler
DD: Anna


Anna is named after your grandmother. You took a lot of flack from family members when you had Tyler, because you refused to tell the sex. But he was the first grandchild on both sides so everyone forgave you for it. When you had Anna, you told the sex but didn't tell anyone the name. Your ILs live in the area and nag at you constantly to spend more time with the grandchildren. But your MIL is a smoker and you can't stand how the kids smell after she hugs them. Your parents live a couple hours away and you wish you could see them more, but when you do see them your mother tends to harp on how much harder things are for your sister and it gets on your nerves. DH is in IT and you have a hard time describing what he does. You have a master's degree and work for a nonprofit and feel like you are underemployed but you don't have the energy to try to find a new job. Maybe after Anna starts school. You're about 10 pounds heavier than before you had kids and it bugs you, but not enough to really do anything about it. You poop 1x/day.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 18:42     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thomas and Laura


You're a sweater-set kind of gal, and a pearl-clutcher with a flair for the dramatic. When Laura turned four you got her a first set of pearls for Christmas, and let her wear them to bed that night with her new Lanz of Salzburg flannel nightgown (of which you have a matching one). You like red lipstick, and sort of wish you looked like Veronica Lake. You and your husband have only missionary position intimacy on Sunday mornings while the kids are allowed to watch cartoons, and although you wish the two of you could mix things up a bit, the one time he suggested anal you contemplated leaving him for ever even thinking of such a dirty thing. You considered discussing it with your best friend and sister, but ultimately didn't because you worried if you stayed with him, what they would think when they looked across the table at him on Thanksgiving.

DH is an accountant who pretends to be outgoing but meets that other woman's husband in the parking lot of a big box store to join him for decompressing before heading home after work each evening. He is tired of the missionary sex too, and was disappointed you refused shower sex because it would mess up your hair, which is why he suggested anal as an alternative. Really, he'd just be happy if you'd get on top. Fun fact: DH taught you to do kegels. You wrinkled your nose and tried to shut him up as soon as possible but secretly do them at every red light while running errands.

You loved Thomas, and love putting him in a turtleneck and fair aisle sweater with cords in the winter, but after having Laura and seeing all the dress-up possibilities with a daughter you now wish Thomas were a boy. You are annoyed by your older relatives who call him Tommy. You call your mother "Mother" to her face, love that Laura calls you "Mommy" and don't realize that by age 14 she'll be calling you "Mother." Laura will also annoy you by telling everyone at her new high school that her name is La-la. Thomas will grow up to do fine, but not be spectacular in any way. He will marry a girl who is dull and plain, and you will neither like nor dislike her. They will have a cat named Muffins who is allergic to other cats.


Not T and L's mother but this is hysterical!
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 18:40     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Tyler and Anna. You are a peach, a real lady, known for effortlessly gliding across the pool to rescue Audrey and Eleanor's mom when she exited the ladies room with toilet paper hanging from her bathing suit. No one even noticed! You managed to stay friends with BOTH spouses in your dear friends nasty divorce, though you sent the wife an anonymous note years ago when you saw her husband in the Chicago airport canoodling with a much tanner woman. Your husband, well, the neighbors snicker at the secret sports practices he holds with Tyler so he doesn't come across as "that dad", remembering how his own father screamed "DENNIS GOD DAMMIT RUN" at his Little League games and his mother mistakenly thought "healthy snack" meant fruit rollups and was ostracized from Bunco nights as a result. Anna is 3 years younger than Tyler, and by god you were going to EBF her if it killed you after the nightmare with Tyler and the tongue tie. Thankfully it went great and Anna is now a cherubic little roly poly 2 year old you have trouble fitting into Carters brand due to her cute little turkey leg thighs. If you could only muster up the strength to have relations with Denny more than 1x/month you would have another in a hot second. You are trying to get in the mood more often, but frankly with Jersey Shore over you don't know where you'll get your inspiration from (Vinnie was your boy-so sweet, such a mama's boy!) You can only hope Tyler calls you every day when he's off to college, or at least let you call him at work unlike Dennise
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 18:30     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Moira. Just the one.


HHI = $150k. DH is a teacher and you are a graphic designer who works for government contractors. You are both introverts, but little Moira has brought you out of your shells in a nice way you did not anticipate. You aren't really cut out for the DC area because you're not into politics, so you wonder some times why you pay all that money for renting your small one-bederoom in Adams Morgan. You dream about moving to Boulder. You will never move to Boulder because Moira will get into Yu Ying and you'll just decide to stay put. You will start feeling vaguely depressed about never really becoming part of the middle class, because hey, you both have graduate degrees! But don't worry, you will soon buy a small bungalow in Brightwood/Manor Park (walking distance to Takoma Rec Center). You will pay for the downpayment with the inheritance DH will receive when his grandmother dies this month -- she socked away enough to leave her three grandchildren $200,000 each by careful savings and investing in value stocks.

The home will turn out to be a great investment when they put in the new Red Line Bypass metro stop in Brightwood just five minutes from your house in 2017. The Red Line Bypass solves the problem of the crazy U-shaped redline that causes a trip from Dupont Circle to Takoma Park to take 45 minutes. The Bypass will connect Takoma Park with Dupont Circle, and will include intermediary stops in Brightwood and Adams Morgan at Florida and 18th St (thus solving the additional problem of Adams Morgan's relative lack of metro accessibility.) Also, Coolidge High School, which borders the Rec Center, will begin to host a tested-entrance IB program, thus immediately turning it into the hottest high school in the city. These factors will cause your home, which you will purchase for $535k, to rapidly increase in value, and you will sell it for $1.8 million in 2028 after Moira graduates from Coolidge. You will retire to a small lake house near Quebec City, due to global warming.

THE END



Oh yeah, here is your house: http://www.redfin.com/DC/Washington/5927-3rd-St-NW-20011/home/10066800



Not Moira's mom, but as a homeowner in Brightwood, I love your vision for the future.


LOL. But it just takes 20 minutes to get from Takoma to DuPont on the redline now.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 18:09     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:DD-Iman
DS- Basiru


Is it terrible that I would like to think Iman has excellent posture?
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 18:07     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous

DD-Iman
DS- Basiru

You are one of the few ethnic minorities on this thread and your names were chosen carefully for their meaning. You are a flexitarian who lives either in Takoma Park or Petworth in a cute home full of funky artwork. Your kids can recognize classic jazz songs and you travel often to exotic locals. Heck, the imaginary you sounds pretty cool. Let's be friends.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 18:00     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nothing for Audrey and Eleanor? I'm curious what you're take on those names are.


Audrey and Eleanor wear smocked Bishop dresses.


Hell to the NO!

They wear mostly thrift store clothes with a little Tea and Gap thrown in when on sale
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 17:50     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
DD-Iman
DS- Basiru
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 17:40     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Thomas and Laura


You're a sweater-set kind of gal, and a pearl-clutcher with a flair for the dramatic. When Laura turned four you got her a first set of pearls for Christmas, and let her wear them to bed that night with her new Lanz of Salzburg flannel nightgown (of which you have a matching one). You like red lipstick, and sort of wish you looked like Veronica Lake. You and your husband have only missionary position intimacy on Sunday mornings while the kids are allowed to watch cartoons, and although you wish the two of you could mix things up a bit, the one time he suggested anal you contemplated leaving him for ever even thinking of such a dirty thing. You considered discussing it with your best friend and sister, but ultimately didn't because you worried if you stayed with him, what they would think when they looked across the table at him on Thanksgiving.

DH is an accountant who pretends to be outgoing but meets that other woman's husband in the parking lot of a big box store to join him for decompressing before heading home after work each evening. He is tired of the missionary sex too, and was disappointed you refused shower sex because it would mess up your hair, which is why he suggested anal as an alternative. Really, he'd just be happy if you'd get on top. Fun fact: DH taught you to do kegels. You wrinkled your nose and tried to shut him up as soon as possible but secretly do them at every red light while running errands.

You loved Thomas, and love putting him in a turtleneck and fair aisle sweater with cords in the winter, but after having Laura and seeing all the dress-up possibilities with a daughter you now wish Thomas were a boy. You are annoyed by your older relatives who call him Tommy. You call your mother "Mother" to her face, love that Laura calls you "Mommy" and don't realize that by age 14 she'll be calling you "Mother." Laura will also annoy you by telling everyone at her new high school that her name is La-la. Thomas will grow up to do fine, but not be spectacular in any way. He will marry a girl who is dull and plain, and you will neither like nor dislike her. They will have a cat named Muffins who is allergic to other cats.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 17:34     Subject: Re:Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
DS: Tyler
DD: Anna
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 17:27     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Fine. I give in. Do me too!

Ds1 John ( goes by jack)
Dd1 Virginia
Dd2 Meredith
Ds 2 Tanner


Tanner is a stupid name.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 17:25     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Olivia
Caroline
David
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 17:23     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Pp. mom of jack, Virginia Meredith and tanner here

My vote wouldn't have gone to them in a million years! But that cracked me up
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 17:21     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Fine. I give in. Do me too!

Ds1 John ( goes by jack)
Dd1 Virginia
Dd2 Meredith
Ds 2 Tanner

'
You voted for McCain/Palin.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2013 17:18     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Fine. I give in. Do me too!

Ds1 John ( goes by jack)
Dd1 Virginia
Dd2 Meredith
Ds 2 Tanner