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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder if Ben was comparing JLo’s parenting to Garner’s and might have said something like take it down a notch so you can be more present for her kids. I doubt the fire just fizzled out…something big and touchy must have prompted this fallout.

[/quote]

Or he just got sick of her being on all the time.  It's exhausting for someone who would prefer to go to their country house in Georgia with the kids for the summer months and ride horses.  She is not that woman.[/quote]

Since this thread is about analyzing JLo, here I go!

So I actually think the problem is that she absolutely would THINK she wanted to go to the country house and ride horses and spend time with the kids. In her head, she's have a whole southern/country wardrobe for that "life", she'd be plotting her social media posts about making lemonade and riding and setting off fireworks on the farm on the 4th. In her head it's a movie, she's the star.

She could imagine any life like this. Ex-pats in Paris. Turning producer and becoming a mega power-couple with their own production company or launching their own streaming service. Being a global Latin music star. You name it. I think she has a romantic mind but is shallow and doesn't understand how meaningful relationships, and what a meaningful life, actually looks like. She only sees in her head how it looks from the outside, how other people will view it (and envy it, and admire it). When she thinks about how it will feel to live that life, she thinks about how it will feel to have other people look at her life.

There's this scene from Sex and the City (bear with me!) where Carrie is talking about her relationship with Big and how she wears these little outfits for him, like she's Barbie dressing the part for whatever activity or setting they are going to. And her friend (I think it's Miranda but don't remember and I don't think it matters) is like "just don't do that, be yourself." But that's who Carrie is. She defines herself by her relationship, the man in her life. She doesn't know how to experience things, only how to costume and set-direct them.

This is what JLo is like. I don't say this derisively. I feel bad for her. I had a friend like this many years ago. She'd dive into things very enthusiastically -- new jobs, marriage, parenthood. But after the initial rush of dressing the part and posting all about it on social media, she'd get bored and annoyed that most of it wasn't really for show. It was just real. She got really into travel. Then remodeling a house. And the key is posting it all online. We all know people like this. If someone wasn't watching and approving, she couldn't feel good about it. She didn't know how to just have a quiet moment with her family or her friends (or *gasp* all by herself) where she was happy and enjoying herself even if not one could see her and envy or "like" it.

I think this is what JLo is like. And I think it's a form of addict behavior, and at first Ben, an addict, was on board. But unlike JLo, he's actually been through rehabilitation of addiction issues and he knows the red flags and the signs of an unhealthy relationship with your substance of choice. I think at first he thought it was just a personality difference but it started to remind him of his relationship with alcohol (and maybe other thing, he might have had this issue with sex also). He is in recovery and for him that means going to Georgia and actually just being alone with his kids and enjoying them and finding happiness in something real and meaningful and deep and not thinking about how other people view it. And JLo can't do that, she literally does not know how. And the idea of rehabilitation for the kind of addiction she has, the addiction to attention and validation, isn't so well accepted as rehab for substance abuse. Plus her addiction actually makes her money, employs people. It's harder to quit in many ways.

That's what I think is happening. That's why Ben is so sad. It's not because she is terrible to him or he doesn't like her anymore. It's because he knows the truth and realizes better than most that you can't really change an addict. They can choose to make different choices and do the hard work every day for the rest of their lives (and it is hard work and that's why he always looks so hangdog, being in recovery is never easy and you have to work on yourself every day, it's not this blissful, easy existence) and she does not have sufficient reason to do that. But he can't support her in it either.

I think they were both well meaning but this is an intractable problem -- her addiction works for her and she is heavily enabled in it and that's never going to change. But as a recovering addict, he can't bring himself to support her and enable her in it. [/quote]

Um i love love this analyzation!! She's sees herself and the people around her as characters or roles and is constantly thinking about the audience. She would love the Truman show lol! Funny enough Ben compared her need for attention to alcoholism. People thought it was harsh but he had the right idea. Jen doesn't really want to change that aspect about her and to be fair, and her line of work makes it impossible. She needs help but she also needs someone that's compatible to her. I thought arod complimented her nicely. [/quote]

That’s rich coming from Ben because  he also loves attention.  I don’t think any other Oscar winning male gets as photographed as he does  throughout La . He can’t blame Jennifer for the pap strolls with Ana. Everyone blamed Garner or J Lo for calling the paps when the paps barely followed J Lo with Arod or now. They keep following him.

Can anything be more pathetic than facing a phone to the camera with “Jennifer Affleck” calling?[/quote]

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