Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attention is not why Ben resents her.

It’s because she’s not a critical darling. If her This is me.. love story movie or documentary was adored and given five star rave reviews, he’d stay with her.

Per his pattern before with Gigli, he runs at the first sign of a flop

To me ben just seems like an addict chasing his next relationship high. He got bored of Jennifer garner, he got bored of Lindsey shookus, he got bored of Ana de armas, and now he’s bored of Jlo, who, added bonus, is also emotionally unstable and makes Ben look like the sane one in the pairing.

Bens a bored, never satisfied person. A junkie looking for his next fix. And he’ll never be satisfied until he learns that comes from within himself, and that a relationship is just a partnership with a compatible person who more or less shares your life vision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think JLo is a better actress than Jen Garner, who is pretty mediocre (also pretty, but mediocre). JLo has real magnetism onscreen, but has done a lot of terrible movies. But Out of Sight, her room com era (the Wedding Planner and Maid in Manhattan), and Hustlers all show her to her best effect. She's not like a method actress or anything, but she knows how to create on screen chemistry with a wide variety of leading men, and she has decent range (pulls off the softness of rom coms surprisingly well IMO).

I think one issue with JLo's career is that she doesn't love acting-- she loves music and dancing. Her "singing" career is her real passion but she doesn't have a good voice or any skill as a writer/musician/producer. She's a dancer. It's a shame because dancing is just not something you can make money doing, so if she wanted to dance but stay at the level she was at as an actress, she had to sing.

I think both Jens are mediocre actresses overall but each has had a few great parts. For Jen G it was 13 going on 30, Alias, and Juno.

I agree that they’re both mediocre. JLo might actually have more range, but Jen G had two iconic roles in Alias and 13 going on 30. JLo can’t seem to decide what kind of actress she wants to be. (She can’t seem to decide on what kind of career she wants overall, she just jumps into everything, singing, rom coms, crime dramas, modeling, documentaries, designing, not doing anything really well, instead of finding something where her passions and talents collide and focusing on that). Jen G had the good sense to know her skills and make some smart choices. She also seems far more content to step away from the limelight and just be a person, obviously, and that’s something JLo will never be capable of.

I think you assume she has more agency over her acting career than she actually does. Neither of these women gets to pick their roles very much. Especially if you want to stick with movies and won't go the Witherspoon/Aniston/Kidman route of creating the roles/career you want by producing TV and streaming. JLo took the roles she was offered. I don't know that she was dying to make a bunch of rom coms, but the industry decided that was a good way to market her and it worked so she made a few. As she aged out of that, I think it's been very hard to find roles that make sense for her as not only a middle aged woman but also a Latina woman. I am sure there were many roles over the years that she went after and lost to people like Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, etc. She wanted to be up in their echelon but she was type cast in different ways and it didn't happen. I don't know that you can blame that on her -- I guarantee there were roles that she could have done great things with but she didn't get the opportunities. That's how the acting industry works, especially if your focus is on movies.

I think her music career enabled her to work and perform even though she wasn't necessarily getting the acting opportunities she wanted and that she believed were appropriate for her level. She branded herself as a multi-hyphenate and that worked fairly well -- she's made a lot of money and never really been totally out of the public eye. Women in entertainment really do have to hustle in a way men don't.

Jen G also was, I am certain, quite limited in her roles. She tried to make a pivot to action movies based on Alias, which would be great because there's so much money there, but her one feature (Elektra) was a total flop and after that she was never going to get another opportunity like that (unlike Ben who magically gets to be Batman despite the fact that Daredevil wasn't a huge hit years ago). She did resurrect Elektra for Deadpool but like a lot of her parts in the last 10 years, it's a small role. Sure, she'll say she was focusing on her kids and I believe her. But has also "branded" herself as someone who was focusing on her kid. And so most of the roles she's gotten in recent years are mom roles in lower budget family shows or TV. I'm sure she'd happily take more interesting or higher profile roles. She can't get them.

These women are at the mercy of the market in a way that Ben has never been.

+1 Although I don't really approve of JLo's parenting and relationship lifestyle, I do appreciate your taking the time to post this info and perspective. Very thoughtful post, and I agree with your take on things. Makes sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think JLo is a better actress than Jen Garner, who is pretty mediocre (also pretty, but mediocre). JLo has real magnetism onscreen, but has done a lot of terrible movies. But Out of Sight, her room com era (the Wedding Planner and Maid in Manhattan), and Hustlers all show her to her best effect. She's not like a method actress or anything, but she knows how to create on screen chemistry with a wide variety of leading men, and she has decent range (pulls off the softness of rom coms surprisingly well IMO).

I think one issue with JLo's career is that she doesn't love acting-- she loves music and dancing. Her "singing" career is her real passion but she doesn't have a good voice or any skill as a writer/musician/producer. She's a dancer. It's a shame because dancing is just not something you can make money doing, so if she wanted to dance but stay at the level she was at as an actress, she had to sing.

I think both Jens are mediocre actresses overall but each has had a few great parts. For Jen G it was 13 going on 30, Alias, and Juno.

I agree that they’re both mediocre. JLo might actually have more range, but Jen G had two iconic roles in Alias and 13 going on 30. JLo can’t seem to decide what kind of actress she wants to be. (She can’t seem to decide on what kind of career she wants overall, she just jumps into everything, singing, rom coms, crime dramas, modeling, documentaries, designing, not doing anything really well, instead of finding something where her passions and talents collide and focusing on that). Jen G had the good sense to know her skills and make some smart choices. She also seems far more content to step away from the limelight and just be a person, obviously, and that’s something JLo will never be capable of.

I think you assume she has more agency over her acting career than she actually does. Neither of these women gets to pick their roles very much. Especially if you want to stick with movies and won't go the Witherspoon/Aniston/Kidman route of creating the roles/career you want by producing TV and streaming. JLo took the roles she was offered. I don't know that she was dying to make a bunch of rom coms, but the industry decided that was a good way to market her and it worked so she made a few. As she aged out of that, I think it's been very hard to find roles that make sense for her as not only a middle aged woman but also a Latina woman. I am sure there were many roles over the years that she went after and lost to people like Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, etc. She wanted to be up in their echelon but she was type cast in different ways and it didn't happen. I don't know that you can blame that on her -- I guarantee there were roles that she could have done great things with but she didn't get the opportunities. That's how the acting industry works, especially if your focus is on movies.

I think her music career enabled her to work and perform even though she wasn't necessarily getting the acting opportunities she wanted and that she believed were appropriate for her level. She branded herself as a multi-hyphenate and that worked fairly well -- she's made a lot of money and never really been totally out of the public eye. Women in entertainment really do have to hustle in a way men don't.

Jen G also was, I am certain, quite limited in her roles. She tried to make a pivot to action movies based on Alias, which would be great because there's so much money there, but her one feature (Elektra) was a total flop and after that she was never going to get another opportunity like that (unlike Ben who magically gets to be Batman despite the fact that Daredevil wasn't a huge hit years ago). She did resurrect Elektra for Deadpool but like a lot of her parts in the last 10 years, it's a small role. Sure, she'll say she was focusing on her kids and I believe her. But has also "branded" herself as someone who was focusing on her kid. And so most of the roles she's gotten in recent years are mom roles in lower budget family shows or TV. I'm sure she'd happily take more interesting or higher profile roles. She can't get them.

These women are at the mercy of the market in a way that Ben has never been.

Anonymous wrote:Attention is not why Ben resents her.

It’s because she’s not a critical darling. If her This is me.. love story movie or documentary was adored and given five star rave reviews, he’d stay with her.

Per his pattern before with Gigli, he runs at the first sign of a flop

Anonymous wrote:Attention is not why Ben resents her.

It’s because she’s not a critical darling. If her This is me.. love story movie or documentary was adored and given five star rave reviews, he’d stay with her.

Per his pattern before with Gigli, he runs at the first sign of a flop

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if Ben was comparing JLo’s parenting to Garner’s and might have said something like take it down a notch so you can be more present for her kids. I doubt the fire just fizzled out…something big and touchy must have prompted this fallout.

Or he just got sick of her being on all the time. It's exhausting for someone who would prefer to go to their country house in Georgia with the kids for the summer months and ride horses. She is not that woman.

Since this thread is about analyzing JLo, here I go!

So I actually think the problem is that she absolutely would THINK she wanted to go to the country house and ride horses and spend time with the kids. In her head, she's have a whole southern/country wardrobe for that "life", she'd be plotting her social media posts about making lemonade and riding and setting off fireworks on the farm on the 4th. In her head it's a movie, she's the star.

She could imagine any life like this. Ex-pats in Paris. Turning producer and becoming a mega power-couple with their own production company or launching their own streaming service. Being a global Latin music star. You name it. I think she has a romantic mind but is shallow and doesn't understand how meaningful relationships, and what a meaningful life, actually looks like. She only sees in her head how it looks from the outside, how other people will view it (and envy it, and admire it). When she thinks about how it will feel to live that life, she thinks about how it will feel to have other people look at her life.

There's this scene from Sex and the City (bear with me!) where Carrie is talking about her relationship with Big and how she wears these little outfits for him, like she's Barbie dressing the part for whatever activity or setting they are going to. And her friend (I think it's Miranda but don't remember and I don't think it matters) is like "just don't do that, be yourself." But that's who Carrie is. She defines herself by her relationship, the man in her life. She doesn't know how to experience things, only how to costume and set-direct them.

This is what JLo is like. I don't say this derisively. I feel bad for her. I had a friend like this many years ago. She'd dive into things very enthusiastically -- new jobs, marriage, parenthood. But after the initial rush of dressing the part and posting all about it on social media, she'd get bored and annoyed that most of it wasn't really for show. It was just real. She got really into travel. Then remodeling a house. And the key is posting it all online. We all know people like this. If someone wasn't watching and approving, she couldn't feel good about it. She didn't know how to just have a quiet moment with her family or her friends (or *gasp* all by herself) where she was happy and enjoying herself even if not one could see her and envy or "like" it.

I think this is what JLo is like. And I think it's a form of addict behavior, and at first Ben, an addict, was on board. But unlike JLo, he's actually been through rehabilitation of addiction issues and he knows the red flags and the signs of an unhealthy relationship with your substance of choice. I think at first he thought it was just a personality difference but it started to remind him of his relationship with alcohol (and maybe other thing, he might have had this issue with sex also). He is in recovery and for him that means going to Georgia and actually just being alone with his kids and enjoying them and finding happiness in something real and meaningful and deep and not thinking about how other people view it. And JLo can't do that, she literally does not know how. And the idea of rehabilitation for the kind of addiction she has, the addiction to attention and validation, isn't so well accepted as rehab for substance abuse. Plus her addiction actually makes her money, employs people. It's harder to quit in many ways.

That's what I think is happening. That's why Ben is so sad. It's not because she is terrible to him or he doesn't like her anymore. It's because he knows the truth and realizes better than most that you can't really change an addict. They can choose to make different choices and do the hard work every day for the rest of their lives (and it is hard work and that's why he always looks so hangdog, being in recovery is never easy and you have to work on yourself every day, it's not this blissful, easy existence) and she does not have sufficient reason to do that. But he can't support her in it either.

I think they were both well meaning but this is an intractable problem -- her addiction works for her and she is heavily enabled in it and that's never going to change. But as a recovering addict, he can't bring himself to support her and enable her in it.

Um i love love this analyzation!! She's sees herself and the people around her as characters or roles and is constantly thinking about the audience. She would love the Truman show lol! Funny enough Ben compared her need for attention to alcoholism. People thought it was harsh but he had the right idea. Jen doesn't really want to change that aspect about her and to be fair, and her line of work makes it impossible. She needs help but she also needs someone that's compatible to her. I thought arod complimented her nicely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if Ben was comparing JLo’s parenting to Garner’s and might have said something like take it down a notch so you can be more present for her kids. I doubt the fire just fizzled out…something big and touchy must have prompted this fallout.

Or he just got sick of her being on all the time. It's exhausting for someone who would prefer to go to their country house in Georgia with the kids for the summer months and ride horses. She is not that woman.

Since this thread is about analyzing JLo, here I go!

So I actually think the problem is that she absolutely would THINK she wanted to go to the country house and ride horses and spend time with the kids. In her head, she's have a whole southern/country wardrobe for that "life", she'd be plotting her social media posts about making lemonade and riding and setting off fireworks on the farm on the 4th. In her head it's a movie, she's the star.

She could imagine any life like this. Ex-pats in Paris. Turning producer and becoming a mega power-couple with their own production company or launching their own streaming service. Being a global Latin music star. You name it. I think she has a romantic mind but is shallow and doesn't understand how meaningful relationships, and what a meaningful life, actually looks like. She only sees in her head how it looks from the outside, how other people will view it (and envy it, and admire it). When she thinks about how it will feel to live that life, she thinks about how it will feel to have other people look at her life.

There's this scene from Sex and the City (bear with me!) where Carrie is talking about her relationship with Big and how she wears these little outfits for him, like she's Barbie dressing the part for whatever activity or setting they are going to. And her friend (I think it's Miranda but don't remember and I don't think it matters) is like "just don't do that, be yourself." But that's who Carrie is. She defines herself by her relationship, the man in her life. She doesn't know how to experience things, only how to costume and set-direct them.

This is what JLo is like. I don't say this derisively. I feel bad for her. I had a friend like this many years ago. She'd dive into things very enthusiastically -- new jobs, marriage, parenthood. But after the initial rush of dressing the part and posting all about it on social media, she'd get bored and annoyed that most of it wasn't really for show. It was just real. She got really into travel. Then remodeling a house. And the key is posting it all online. We all know people like this. If someone wasn't watching and approving, she couldn't feel good about it. She didn't know how to just have a quiet moment with her family or her friends (or *gasp* all by herself) where she was happy and enjoying herself even if not one could see her and envy or "like" it.

I think this is what JLo is like. And I think it's a form of addict behavior, and at first Ben, an addict, was on board. But unlike JLo, he's actually been through rehabilitation of addiction issues and he knows the red flags and the signs of an unhealthy relationship with your substance of choice. I think at first he thought it was just a personality difference but it started to remind him of his relationship with alcohol (and maybe other thing, he might have had this issue with sex also). He is in recovery and for him that means going to Georgia and actually just being alone with his kids and enjoying them and finding happiness in something real and meaningful and deep and not thinking about how other people view it. And JLo can't do that, she literally does not know how. And the idea of rehabilitation for the kind of addiction she has, the addiction to attention and validation, isn't so well accepted as rehab for substance abuse. Plus her addiction actually makes her money, employs people. It's harder to quit in many ways.

That's what I think is happening. That's why Ben is so sad. It's not because she is terrible to him or he doesn't like her anymore. It's because he knows the truth and realizes better than most that you can't really change an addict. They can choose to make different choices and do the hard work every day for the rest of their lives (and it is hard work and that's why he always looks so hangdog, being in recovery is never easy and you have to work on yourself every day, it's not this blissful, easy existence) and she does not have sufficient reason to do that. But he can't support her in it either.

I think they were both well meaning but this is an intractable problem -- her addiction works for her and she is heavily enabled in it and that's never going to change. But as a recovering addict, he can't bring himself to support her and enable her in it.

Um i love love this analyzation!! She's sees herself and the people around her as characters or roles and is constantly thinking about the audience. She would love the Truman show lol! Funny enough Ben compared her need for attention to alcoholism. People thought it was harsh but he had the right idea. Jen doesn't really want to change that aspect about her and to be fair, and her line of work makes it impossible. She needs help but she also needs someone that's compatible to her. I thought arod complimented her nicely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jennifer is a workhorse and wants a handsome leading man. She doesn’t want an old billionaire who goes to bed before 9pm and takes medications .

She wants to be on the scene . She embraces the glamour of Hwood like the old movie stars of the Golden Age and she wants to be seen as a movie star more than just an actress. That’s why she sings, dances, and acts like the old Hwood actresses did. That’s her goal or so she says.

Ha! No one is going to take her seriously as Hollywood Oscar glam as long as she is twerking on stripper poles at the Super Bowl. She needs to make her mind up, she is no Taylor Swift and never will be which is what I think led to her thinking she could have an "Eras" tour moment this year. Not going to happen. Either you sing or become an actress who can crush that Oscar, pick one.

It worked for Cher and Cher didn’t follow that advice about covering up during an even more prudish era .

She doesn’t have to be Taylor Swift. She’s Jennifer Lopez. Two very different performers. I am sure Taylor can’t dance in heels the way Jennifer does at half her age . When Taylor was in diapers, Jennifer was already on television as a background dancer (the bottom pile of the entertainment industry) and she climbed (some would say clawed) her way to the top without a rich dad to start a record label for her .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jennifer is a workhorse and wants a handsome leading man. She doesn’t want an old billionaire who goes to bed before 9pm and takes medications .

She wants to be on the scene . She embraces the glamour of Hwood like the old movie stars of the Golden Age and she wants to be seen as a movie star more than just an actress. That’s why she sings, dances, and acts like the old Hwood actresses did. That’s her goal or so she says.

Ha! No one is going to take her seriously as Hollywood Oscar glam as long as she is twerking on stripper poles at the Super Bowl. She needs to make her mind up, she is no Taylor Swift and never will be which is what I think led to her thinking she could have an "Eras" tour moment this year. Not going to happen. Either you sing or become an actress who can crush that Oscar, pick one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if Ben was comparing JLo’s parenting to Garner’s and might have said something like take it down a notch so you can be more present for her kids. I doubt the fire just fizzled out…something big and touchy must have prompted this fallout.

Or he just got sick of her being on all the time. It's exhausting for someone who would prefer to go to their country house in Georgia with the kids for the summer months and ride horses. She is not that woman.

Since this thread is about analyzing JLo, here I go!

So I actually think the problem is that she absolutely would THINK she wanted to go to the country house and ride horses and spend time with the kids. In her head, she's have a whole southern/country wardrobe for that "life", she'd be plotting her social media posts about making lemonade and riding and setting off fireworks on the farm on the 4th. In her head it's a movie, she's the star.

She could imagine any life like this. Ex-pats in Paris. Turning producer and becoming a mega power-couple with their own production company or launching their own streaming service. Being a global Latin music star. You name it. I think she has a romantic mind but is shallow and doesn't understand how meaningful relationships, and what a meaningful life, actually looks like. She only sees in her head how it looks from the outside, how other people will view it (and envy it, and admire it). When she thinks about how it will feel to live that life, she thinks about how it will feel to have other people look at her life.

There's this scene from Sex and the City (bear with me!) where Carrie is talking about her relationship with Big and how she wears these little outfits for him, like she's Barbie dressing the part for whatever activity or setting they are going to. And her friend (I think it's Miranda but don't remember and I don't think it matters) is like "just don't do that, be yourself." But that's who Carrie is. She defines herself by her relationship, the man in her life. She doesn't know how to experience things, only how to costume and set-direct them.

This is what JLo is like. I don't say this derisively. I feel bad for her. I had a friend like this many years ago. She'd dive into things very enthusiastically -- new jobs, marriage, parenthood. But after the initial rush of dressing the part and posting all about it on social media, she'd get bored and annoyed that most of it wasn't really for show. It was just real. She got really into travel. Then remodeling a house. And the key is posting it all online. We all know people like this. If someone wasn't watching and approving, she couldn't feel good about it. She didn't know how to just have a quiet moment with her family or her friends (or *gasp* all by herself) where she was happy and enjoying herself even if not one could see her and envy or "like" it.

I think this is what JLo is like. And I think it's a form of addict behavior, and at first Ben, an addict, was on board. But unlike JLo, he's actually been through rehabilitation of addiction issues and he knows the red flags and the signs of an unhealthy relationship with your substance of choice. I think at first he thought it was just a personality difference but it started to remind him of his relationship with alcohol (and maybe other thing, he might have had this issue with sex also). He is in recovery and for him that means going to Georgia and actually just being alone with his kids and enjoying them and finding happiness in something real and meaningful and deep and not thinking about how other people view it. And JLo can't do that, she literally does not know how. And the idea of rehabilitation for the kind of addiction she has, the addiction to attention and validation, isn't so well accepted as rehab for substance abuse. Plus her addiction actually makes her money, employs people. It's harder to quit in many ways.

That's what I think is happening. That's why Ben is so sad. It's not because she is terrible to him or he doesn't like her anymore. It's because he knows the truth and realizes better than most that you can't really change an addict. They can choose to make different choices and do the hard work every day for the rest of their lives (and it is hard work and that's why he always looks so hangdog, being in recovery is never easy and you have to work on yourself every day, it's not this blissful, easy existence) and she does not have sufficient reason to do that. But he can't support her in it either.

I think they were both well meaning but this is an intractable problem -- her addiction works for her and she is heavily enabled in it and that's never going to change. But as a recovering addict, he can't bring himself to support her and enable her in it.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if Ben was comparing JLo’s parenting to Garner’s and might have said something like take it down a notch so you can be more present for her kids. I doubt the fire just fizzled out…something big and touchy must have prompted this fallout.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think JLo is a better actress than Jen Garner, who is pretty mediocre (also pretty, but mediocre). JLo has real magnetism onscreen, but has done a lot of terrible movies. But Out of Sight, her room com era (the Wedding Planner and Maid in Manhattan), and Hustlers all show her to her best effect. She's not like a method actress or anything, but she knows how to create on screen chemistry with a wide variety of leading men, and she has decent range (pulls off the softness of rom coms surprisingly well IMO).

I think one issue with JLo's career is that she doesn't love acting-- she loves music and dancing. Her "singing" career is her real passion but she doesn't have a good voice or any skill as a writer/musician/producer. She's a dancer. It's a shame because dancing is just not something you can make money doing, so if she wanted to dance but stay at the level she was at as an actress, she had to sing.

I think both Jens are mediocre actresses overall but each has had a few great parts. For Jen G it was 13 going on 30, Alias, and Juno.

I agree that they’re both mediocre. JLo might actually have more range, but Jen G had two iconic roles in Alias and 13 going on 30. JLo can’t seem to decide what kind of actress she wants to be. (She can’t seem to decide on what kind of career she wants overall, she just jumps into everything, singing, rom coms, crime dramas, modeling, documentaries, designing, not doing anything really well, instead of finding something where her passions and talents collide and focusing on that). Jen G had the good sense to know her skills and make some smart choices. She also seems far more content to step away from the limelight and just be a person, obviously, and that’s something JLo will never be capable of.