Reply to Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really want to know how other parents are managing RTO without a village.

I quit a job that paid $112K in the state government because of RTO, and we had no support network - no grandparents, friends, or family who could help with pick-up/drop-off or sick days.

My husband is gone from 4AM - 4PM in a secure, union job. I am solely responsible for school drop-off, pickup, and sick days. I was managing a full-time, supervisory position in the government, which was becoming incredibly challenging. When I looked at our finances, I could have enrolled our son in a before/after school care program or hired a nanny, which would cost us roughly $2000/month. This would mean he is at school from 7 AM - 4PM to allow for commute times. My son struggled to adjust to a full-time Kindergarten schedule from 8:30 - 3 PM, and his teacher suggested half days. (He is in an affordable private school)

My manager wanted me to come into the office for 2 days/week. This would mean I leave the house at 6:45 AM to get to work on time by 7:45 for an 8AM start. I was in a supervisory role that required me to train my staff. But we couldn't leave the office once we were there. So that meant I was there for 2 days/week, with my butt in a seat, and then had to compress my staff's training schedule to 3 other days/week. I had five staff in training who all needed extensive support.

So, I quit. I took a significant pay cut and am now making $30/hr in the private sector. I now have fewer retirement contributions but plan to return to a full-time, salaried base position when my son is old enough to stay home alone for a few hours. However, my office is home-based, and I have 2-3 hours of work meetings with clients in the field. I also make my own schedule and work 30 hours/week. My take-home pay is significantly less, but my son is happy to have me drop him off, and I can always be there for sick days. Before, I was scrambling to get everything done.

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I haven't looked through the responses here, but here's my perspective. My husband and I had to go to the office M-F when our kids were younger. This was pre-covid days. When my kids were toddlers, I traveled every other week to NYC for 2 days at a time. The way we handled it was daycare and my husband and I working out a schedule to figure out who does dropoffs/pickups. It was expensive, daycare was equivalent to our mortgage but I knew that I had to keep working for my career. We also realized that this was a short-term sacrifice. Kids would get older, and daycare would no longer be needed. My kids are in HS now. If I had quit my job years ago, I wouldn't be where I am with my career today; and honestly, I feel like the teen years is when being at home would really, really benefit. [/quote]

I just want to say for those of your who found it hard 10-15-20 years ago that childcare costs have actually increased more than mortgages, cars, insurance, food,  etc. It exceeds the price of COLLEGE TUITION. There's actual data on this. 
So, I am glad you all made it work but it is untenable. It cannot continue to be an individual problem. The response will be either no children or no women in the workforce. Again, there is DATA on this. I dont care how many SAHDs you personally know. [/quote]

Also, most of the 50 pages of posts are NOT about toddlers in the day care years, when care schedules are meant to support work schedules (even if some hours may not be enough). They're mostly about the challenges of filling the gaps for school aged kids. [/quote]

I have teenage daughters who would be happy to meet elementary kids at the bus stop and babysit for a few hours before parents get home or after camp for a small amount of cash, but I don’t think parents these days are willing to make that type of arrangement. [/quote]

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