Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Funny how we all swear not to repeat our parents’ mistakes. And than your children grow up and blame YOU for all YOUR mistakes. Funny how that happens from one generation to the next.[/quote]
My mom never confronted her mom for allowing my mom to be molested as a child and looking the other way. She left home at 18 and cut her mom out of her life. Understandably, my mom was focked up and was an alcoholic who neglected and abused me. I have suffered as an adult because of that neglect and abuse. I never asked her for an apology or even acknowledgement of what she did to me (dad was terrible, too and they enabled each other). I did, however, inquire wtf they were thinking when they hurt me. I never got an answer. They have been gone for 10+ years, but the impact of abuse lives on in me. I lack self compassion, I'm a perfectionist, I suffer anxiety and depression at times. One thing I don't do is harm my children. I've never hit, yelled, starved, named called, etc.. I've loved, nurtured, supported, helped them, cheer them on and provide love and security. If they come to me as ac with complaints, I'm going to apologize and listen and make it right with them. I value them more than my ego. I can admit mistakes.[/quote]

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