Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People seem think that a parent taking accountability for mistakes made in childhood--and for their impacts into adulthood--means that the AC isn't taking responsibility for their own life. Untrue.

Asking for an apology and taking responsibility for your own life are part of two totally separate realms of well-being. Asking for the apology is a way of healing the relationship; taking responsibility for your own life is, well, for everything else.

Yes an AC can try to make excuses for their life by saying "my mom was mean to me," but, honestly, that can also be because of bad parenting. As a parent you have to (try) to teach and model distress tolerance, emotional regulation, hard work, etc. And if you don't do that, don't be surprised when your kid has poor emotional intelligence. [/quote]

So even when an AC’s problems are their own fault, in the end it’s down to bad parenting anyway. Which is just another form of excuse.

To repeat: your children must be monsters.[/quote]

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