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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The ability to compartmentalize is not gender specific. [/quote]

It is much more prominent in men.  But, yes, some women can do it.  Compartmentalization that is in the service of acting out is designed for one thing: to keep secretive and non-secretive worlds separate from each other. To accomplish this, an internal-mental-emotional segregation needs to occur.

Men are more emotionally compartmentalized — women's brains seem to have more overall connectivity, which means emotions from one experience or task spill into other experiences and tasks. When the brain might be more holistically integrated, it is more difficult to not let a "bad day" spill over into activities and relationships outside of work

Because identifying males are often taught not to bring emotions with them, many have developed habits of separating them out from other parts of their daily lives.

Once you leave the world of acting-out and reenter your non-secretive reality — the world of connection and commitments — you may find that you need to wall yourself off from the acting-out that just occurred. This mental distancing from the secretive is used to help reengage with your loved ones and the commitments/responsibilities of your life; a distancing that walls off any feelings of shame, guilt and/or despair you might feel when you come face-to-face with the implications of your actions. The affair/cheating literally never crosses over in their day to day life with wife and kids.  They can leave it in the hotel room and then go back to loving husband/father.

Once back in your non-secretive world, you can then reclaim the virtues, beliefs and values you hold while [i]ignoring/denying [/i]the ways in which you violated these beliefs and values.

When compartmentalization is used to foster acting-out, it is because the acting-out experience is highly incompatible with how you see and experience yourself; and incompatible with the life you’ve created. These incompatible experiences cannot coexist at the same time within consciousness.

When the obligations of life and the impact of your actions on those you care about break through the walls of compartmentalization (or you are caught) and enter into the hidden world of acting-out, the acting-out experience is altered and often collapses.

During this collapse, the feelings you were segregating into boxes (feelings such as guilt, shame, fear, disbelief, shock, despair, self-loathing) may flood you. Some people end up relying on mind-altering substances in an effort to keep the walls of compartmentalization from cracking; alcohol and/or drugs are frequently used to eradicate the inner presence of loved ones and the real life consequences of certain kinds of acting-out.

Sooner or later, living this way catches up to you. It’s not sustainable. And once you acknowledge this, a journey toward healing can begin. [/quote]

^100%

The dark side of compartmentalization leads to a fracturing of the self and the toll of this fracturing can be significant. For some, the ability to destructively compartmentalize has its origin in a painful childhood where family secrets, childhood neglect, physical and/or sexual abuse laid the groundwork for destructive escapism, an escapism that is being fed by these earlier, unhealed wounds.

This trauma-based compartmentalization may be part of dissociative defenses that occurred in childhood as a way to manage overwhelming fear and pain. But not all compartmentalization is trauma-based.

Learning to understand what drives your need for escapism and destructive acting-out are important first steps in regaining wholeness and integrity. For this to occur, the walls of compartmentalization need to slowly come down. [/quote]

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