Reply to The Pitt, Season 2

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a daughter in early 20s both on the spectrum and with a lower IQ. (Consistently tested between 70 and 90 depending on the area)

A lot of the discussion about the Mel - Becca storyline seems to come from some perspectives where they think Mel is envious because she doesn’t have a dating life and her sister does.

I don’t think that’s it. I was extremely concerned when I found out my daughter was having sex. But she’d already been able to get birth control on her own even prior to 18. As soon as she could drive, she drove herself to her doctor. And I was very worried about people taking advantage of her to the point where it was a realistic thought in my head nearly every day for several years that she was about to march into the house, throw down her backpack and announce, “I’m pregnant !!”

Which follows back to the old ER long term story line where the one doctor had a problematic sister who did indeed leave her with raising a baby she didn’t expect to ever have.

I could see that one in Mel’s face as well. If the birth control fails, who’s got that baby? No details about the father or if that father is even somewhat predatory or just another member of Becca’s daycare (group residence? Idk)

There’s a lot that would be going through Mel’s head[/quote]

It's both. Mel is worried about Becca and the potential consequences of her being sexually active, and also I think she is jealous/resentful that so much of her time goes to caring for Becca and this enables Becca to have a relationship and feel fulfilled while Mel is just stressed and probably pretty freaking lonely a lot of the time (between being ND and being the primary caregiver to an ID adult and having an incredibly demanding job).

I will also note that being a parent caring for an intellectually disabled adult parent would be fundamentally different from being a sibling doing the same. Still hard, but different. As a parent, caring for your kids is a job you take on when they are young and, ideally, willingly. You don't always realize how long that job and last and that's especially true for a kid with IDs -- it can be really hard to realize that your child is never going to be as independent as one without disabilities.

But if you became a caregiver to a sibling because of their ID and the death of your parents, I'm sorry, that is WAY harder. It's not a choice. You'd be trying to grieve your own parents while also take care of your sibling, it means taking on a serious caretaking role at a very young age before you've really even had a chance to lead your own life at all. That's incredibly rough and it's not something Mel signed up for and yes it's probably going to lead to resentment and jealousy especially because she grew up viewing her sister as a peer and now she's a dependent. And who takes care of Mel? Her own parents are dead and she has no other siblings. It's just brutal, her situation deserves a lot of empathy.[/quote]

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