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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why didn't your SON discuss it with you?[/quote]

+1  And, your 'lifelong friends' are not her friends.  It sounds like your DS and DIL want to start their own tradition.  Don't know why you're blaming it on your DIL.[/quote]

Actually I am with OP and my kids are still in elementary so this is not an issue I have any experience with right now. I think with such a tradition rich holiday as Thanksgiving when OP has hosted for many years it was insensitive at best but quite manipulative of the DIL to take over as she did without even mentioning her desire to start hosting. Nothing wrong with DIL wanting to start her own traditions but she did not show any care or respect to others. Her lack of consideration and communication is not what Thanksgiving is about nor how one should treat family.[/quote]

OP has said in previous posts that her lifelong friends have been a part of Thanksgiving much longer than DIL has been around. That implies a certain lack of respect for the place the DIL has in the family.

In addition to being hurt that DIL didn't ask for permission to host Thanksgiving, she's also hurt that DIL doesn't want to use MIL's china at her house. Oy. OP sounds super controlling and inflexible. I can understand why her son decided to be passive aggressive and not give her a heads up. Note that I say SON not DIL. When there are sensitive situations like this, it's the responsibility of the son to talk to his mom - not to make his wife do it for him. If anyone dropped the ball on giving OP advance notice, it was her son - not his wife. [/quote]

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