Reply to When your spouse is selfish in bed......

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here....I'm not really talking about communication or lack thereof. I have no problem expressing what I want. My problem is DH just flat out says "that's not what I want to do". Other than this, he isn't selfish in any way at all.

I don't think he has bad intentions. I think it's a combination of lack of knowledge how women work, embarrassment that he can't get it right, and he has this idea that women think it's sexy to be bossed around in bed (which may be true, but not in the way he does it).

[/quote]

If that's not what he wants to do, then you have every right not to do what he wants to do either.  He wants PIV?  Tough.  He wants a BJ? You don't want to do that.  Until he can learn to reciprocate, then don't participate.  You cannot allow someone to be so selfish in bed and continue to have sex with you.  It's not good for you- you are not a real doll![/quote]

I just want to better understand your perspective. For a man who willingly performs but whose wife never does, I assume you agree it's ok for him to cut her off as well, right? I agree with that sentiment by the way. But usually women think men *have* to perform since that's the main way many women climax. [/quote]

Huh?  anyone has the right to say no to sex.  Period.  And it's even more justified when someone is never getting off.  If a man is having sex with a woman and never getting off then yes, of course he has every right to stop sex. And that goes doubly for women[/quote]

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