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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I suggest you read a book called Passionate Marriage. It is about how to improve your married sex life. And it deals with what to do about guys who flat out just refuse to do things their wives want.

I mean, you guys need to talk. If what you want to do is normal and not some fetishistic thing, why doesn't he want to do it? Fear of failure? Just not to his taste? What? Does he consider how you feel if you make a reasonable request and he flat out refuses you? Have you told him that this *hurts* you? You guys have to talk. If he refuses to talk to you, tell him that this is not good enough.

My DH refused to talk about sex and I let it go far too long. In the end I had to have a frank conversation with him that our sex life was deeply unsatisfying to me and there was no way I was going to continue the way we had because it was unfair to me and I'd rather not have any sexual contact at all than have something that was not truly mutual. He took it badly, moped for awhile, etc. But eventually, ahem, rose to the occasion. Our sex life improved dramatically. But I had to change myself, too. I had to insist on things. And I had to face up to my own discomforts and hang-ups in the sexual part of our relationship. It's easy to blame someone else; harder to look at yourself. Easy to blame someone for rejecting you; harder to look at yourself and ask yourself, why do you accept that answer. Good luck.[/quote]

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