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[quote=Anonymous]I know it's tough, OP. Been in a similar situation.

There's no going back to how you used to feel. I think you would still benefit from having a therapist to vent to, to get out your resentments. You might end up finding a way to let go of some of the past, and maybe you and your husband could look at this as a new start. He has to do some things differently, and you have to find a way to put the past behind you, if possible. I don't know if it will be possible for you, OP.

If he could make it up to you, what would it take? Are there things he could step up? Put more into job hunting, for sure. What else? More at home? Promise to do certain things to maintain/improve his mental and physical health?

My husband and I have had talks about what he can do to make it up to me, because of things he did in the past that hurt me. We've gone over what he can do that will help make it easier for me to move forward with him, and he does these things daily.

It's still hard for me, and I have to consciously work on letting go of old resentments, fear, and anger, and focus on how I want my life to be.

Like a lot of people, I want a sex life and I want to feel safe, respected, and cared for by my partner. What do you want with your husband?

What are your fears, related to your husband? I'm afraid things will get worse again. I can't stop him from going back to how he was, but I can try learning to live with what's possible now. I can't undo any of the past, either. I'm afraid to be vulnerable, with good reason. It's hard to learn to live a compromise. Can you?[/quote]

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