Reply to husband divorce threats have stopped, whether to figure out "why" when things good now??

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Reply to "husband divorce threats have stopped, whether to figure out "why" when things good now??"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, when he says he hates you ... it isn't you he hates.

He hates that you caught him; he hates that the fact that he is married to you, and made a commitment to you that he is now breaking, makes him a bad actor; he hates that he cannot do whatever he wants with his sex life because he made a marriage promise to you.

His ego and self-image do not allow him to think badly of his own behavior, therefore, he must blame you and hate you because your existence and marriage to him is what makes his lying and cheating behavior, lying and cheating. Otherwise, he'd just be a swinging single with fewer serious consequences for sleeping around -- just like he did all his life until he walked down the aisle in his 40s. He regrets that now there are financial and legal consequences for his "social life," in addition to the emotional ones.

It is not you he hates. But he will likely convince himself that it is you, so that he doesn't have to blame himself. You will never get the full truth from him because he will not ever tell himself the full truth. And if you wold just act like a doormat or a blow up doll, he wouldn't have to face the consequences of his horrid behavior. But you will not be his blow up doll, so he hates that about you. Good for you.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

By the way ... who was the second person mentioned in your OP who clued you in to this? You need to follow up there too.[/quote]

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