Reply to New boyfriend, has a child he never sees.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I mean, what can I do?  
He's a sweetheart, a good man to me, gentle, understanding, emotionally available, [b]'there' for me..[/b] Etc etc. Shows no other bad qualities. 
But this isn't okay with me, it's not something that will go away. I will continue to think about it and continue to let it bother me. 
I can attempt a last ditch effort... Voice my concerns on the off chance it'll create some sort of epiphany in his mind and he tries to repair and evolve the relationship?[/quote]

He is there for you when things are going well.  That's not a real relationship.  How about when you get pregnant?  How about when you get sick?  Past behavior is a good indication of future behavior.  Like a PP said, when someone shows who they really are, believe them.[/quote]

What's the indication he wasn't there for the GF when she got pregnant?  Seems they were together for years before she moved away.[/quote]

Isn't that wonderful?  Being a parent isn't something you do for a few years.[/quote]

Duh  :roll:

You genuinely believe that this guy would be a terrible father to a child he had with OP, were they to get married?  He told her the story up front.   Why on earth would that be the case?

The sanctimony on here is mind-blowing, especially considering how many of you are probably married to guys who barely see their kids anyway for working so much.[/quote]

Very untrue. I'm married to a man whose ex wife moved back across the country to live with her parents. He had NEVER gone a day without speaking to his son and in the early years together when money was tighter we would still spend what we had to to get him back there for weekend visits, holidays, summers etc. NO EXCUSE for deadbeat parenting especially when money isn't an issue as $3500 in child support would suggest it's not.

Also an 11 year old is not in daycare so I'm not buying that that amount is inflated by daycare costs. He's lying. [/quote]

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