Reply to New boyfriend, has a child he never sees.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. The mother is remarried and new baby (so new sibling for daughter). 
He says the daughter knows he will always be here for her, that he has made that clear. That he would drop everything for her if needed/wanted. He says he doesn't want to disrupt their life and 'force' a relationship. [/quote]

No he wouldn't drop everything.  He should have (at the age of 21) relocated to at least live near the child.  Even if things weren't working with the mother.  You aren't a parent yet--- believe me, it takes a special [b]kind of soulless person to let their own flesh and blood just disappear out of their life[/b].  And teh child doesn't get to decide if it's an "intrusion" or not.  It's a very easy and convenient excuse for his behavior.  Like the $3500/month (LIE!!!)[/quote]

Are you a father with an ex who makes your life hell? harasses you over the phone... called people at work... shows up at odd times angry out of the blue? Sometimes its better to blend into the background because it causes a massive amount of upset for the child.

I'm not saying that is the case with OP's BF but your blanket statement doesn't take into consideration all the factors that can exist.

My kids for example don't want their mom to know they talk to me because they feel a loyalty to her and she get upset with them when she thinks they have any sort of affection for me. Because of that I limit my communications to times when I know there mom isn't around. I don't see my kids as much as I would like. I'm just trying to make the kids like as trouble free as possible. I don't know what the OPs BF situation is.[/quote]

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