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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for all the helpful replies.  To answer a couple of questions:

She was/is attractive, objectively speaking she is a 7/8 out of 10.  I think part of the problem is she doesn't get a lot of positive male- affirmation on a day to day basis being a SAHM.  And she isn't going to find it at the bar or restaurant scene dominated by the younger crowd, and she knows and understands that but now feels totally invisible.  Men rarely get overtly hit on in public so we don't feel some acute loss of it mid-life.  If she were working in an office, she would get flirted with.  I try to keep it going at home, but her response is "you are supposed to find me attractive and say nice things, you are my husband."  And yes, she is probably ripe for some mid-life affair, which would be nice to avoid, obviously.

She has mentioned botox repeatedly.  If she wants it, have at it, as long as she doesn't turn into one of those weird looking reality show cat-women.  It's hard for me to tell if she is aging normally or if she really does look old for her age; I live with her.  I get that it would be disheartening to have people guess you are much older than you are.

I think she needs a career too, but herein lies the "problem" of being married to a wealthy man - we don't need the money, we do need someone other than me to pick up much of the domestic since I travel for work.  I am fine hiring a nanny or doing extended care after school.  She doesn't want that.   She keeps looking for the perfect part time gig, but that doesn't exist in her field - you are either all in or not.  It doesn't help we are in similar fields and she has no confidence having been out of the work force for 10 years while my career has done well.

I could probably arrange for her to get interviews within my network.  But I am not sure if that is pushing too hard.  If I am supposed to be supportive and encouraging or to "solve" the problem and get her a career.  I also wonder if this is normal mid-life stuff or clinical depression, and I am not equipped to answer that, nor do I want my head ripped off for suggesting she has a chemical imbalance.

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Sounds like she needs to learn to appreciate what she has.  A happy family, plenty of money and plenty of time.  Most women would kill for this. [/quote]

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