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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]If your stepmom was on the scene within two months of your bio mom leaving, odds are your stepmom was once your dad's mistress.[/b]

Regardless, I think you are putting too much emotional effort into mitigating the consequences of your parents' divorce. I say this as someone who has been doing the same thing for 25 years. Stop doing it. Stop talking to your mom about how it makes her feel. Stop talking to your dad about how he should treat your mom. Let them be adults, let them hurt each other, and you focus on creating a healthy marriage with your fiancée.

You are allowed to just invite your parents. Call it "family only", but own it. Your dad may be resentful for awhile. He's allowed to be. Neither of you can have your cake and eat it too: that's part of being an adult.

And you seem to have touched on all the DCUM relationship hot buttons: cheating, divorce, adult children v. new partners, destination weddings. If you are a troll, this is exceptionally well played. Bravo![/quote]

This is absolutely correct. OP, do you really think your father was faithful to your insane, as you say, bio mom? Unlikely. Also odd that a brand new girlfriend would feel so completely immediately invested in raising your father's children if she weren't already on the scene for a bit and already emotionally entangled. No one I know who had a train wreck first spouse ended up with a normal second spouse, if they didn't take some time for high quality self reflection / therapy between relationships. Your sanctifying your stepmother while demonizing your father's new partner might fit nicely with your black and white view of everything in the world, but it isn't likely the truth.

I also call troll. A lot of the long drawn out posts don't sound like they were written by a man ("I only want the people at my wedding who made me the man I am today!" LOL) Does anyone else know a man IRL who is this ideological about his wedding?[/quote]

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