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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How are you 27 and your parents ended their 23 year old marriage?

[/quote]

Oh, sorry, hadn't read to page 3 yet before I posted.

Anyway, so how is your mom in all this?  You talked a lot about everyone else, but never mentioned how she is emotionally.

I personally think since it is so raw, it makes sense for your father not to have the OW there.  but when you said destination wedding, I don't know.  Not a fan of making your ten people who have ben there for you all along also travel ofr your wedding.  It it was a day, of course father should come alone.  But if it's travel, etc it get s little murkier.  He should, but I can see why he would not want to.  [/quote]

OP here...

My mom is and has been devastated. My dad was obviously done with her years before the divorce. I think part of her still loves him. They were the type that did everything together...its not like they were distant and apart all the time. I'm having dinner with her on Sunday to talk about things. I do not know where she stands as far as the wedding or what she could tolerate. In general I gave everything a quick breather after the engagement but realized spring is right around the corner in terms of travel. But I dread even bring to the table the OW being there as much as I dreaded Monday nights dinner with my father when I told him I didn't want the OW there.

To give some clarity on timeline, the OW is not a fly by night situation. I believe she's a gold digger in for the long hall and has known my father for 16 years.
The initial separation was about 18 months ago. Its possible that the affair had started as early as 2010 and they had a working relationship since the early 00s. After a nasty dragged out divorce everything was finalized in February. My father is not well, he had serious GI tract surgery due to acid reflux problems two weeks before my proposal. There's a lot of reasons I do not like her and I did not choose to even be around OW or her kids with my Dad until April of this year. I've been trying to play nice but I definitely dont trust her and fear for my father. Its the only reason I have tolerated his behavior up until now.

My mom feels like a lot of women in this situation. Used and betrayed. I cant even put it into words...she sure can though. Its been hard for her because obviously her life has been flipped upside down. Meanwhile my dad is trying to plug and play his past OW now SO into our lives and basically erase my mom.

Its been tough.[/quote]

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