Reply to I think my husband is secretly applying for jobs outside of DC

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

There are 2 other hospitals in the area with childlife jobs. The fact that we are already here makes it easier to stay. I wish my husband would just make up his mind about what he wants. [b]He really wants me to stop working and become a sahm[/b]. [/quote]

The bolded is your real problem.  Just remember you control that.  No one can make you stop working and become a SAHM.  If your DH takes a job in another city without discussing with you, you can make it clear to him that neither you nor the children are going with him unless you have a similar job for yourself lined up.  You will have to be prepared to divorce if that is the position you want to take.

In reality, the best thing is for you two to work in tandem -- give him a list of all the places in the country where you think you would have a good chance of finding a job.  Ask him to check in with you weekly about where he's a applied and where he is getting interest.  Do your research and put out feelers at the same time in these locations and ask him to strategize about how to raise your needs in the hiring process.  Ask him to also apply for jobs here.  Even if he feels like he will get turned down, make him understand that it's important to you that you see evidence that he tried to apply for something within commuting distance of your current home.  Now is the time to network and work every contact you have (both of you) to try to make the situation turn out well for both of you.  Remain flexible in how you think about commuting.  I know many academics with tenure track who don't actually live in the university town, but do do serious car/train or air travel to make it work until they are more successful and can move to a better location.  [/quote]

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