Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in Ohio? It has three big cities.....

Oxford, Ohio

Why not here?

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

Yes this could work but that would be one hell of a commute! I like having choices here in DC . It's nice knowing that I could find a job here in case something were to happen to my current job. I think I am always a bit worried about losing my job.

This makes no sense. Your job is so specialized that 10 universities confer degrees in the area and only a handful of hospitals cater to it yet you also want lots of options and are afraid of losing your job. Those two things are incompatible. Either it's specialized and rare or you can have lots of options or it's so specialized you're in high demand or it's not specialized to the point where you can lose your job like anyone.

You would have to know someone in my field to understand this. So many people think it's like a nursing job.

Honestly, it sounds more like a social worker job to me, based on what I've read. I can understand why a regular regional hospital would not be hiring for this position on the reg, but I'm not sure what makes the DC area so special. If you lose your job at Children's, where would you go work?

Not a social worker. Community hospitals and regional hospitals hire tons and tons of social workers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in Ohio? It has three big cities.....

Oxford, Ohio

Why not here?

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

Yes this could work but that would be one hell of a commute! I like having choices here in DC . It's nice knowing that I could find a job here in case something were to happen to my current job. I think I am always a bit worried about losing my job.

This makes no sense. Your job is so specialized that 10 universities confer degrees in the area and only a handful of hospitals cater to it yet you also want lots of options and are afraid of losing your job. Those two things are incompatible. Either it's specialized and rare or you can have lots of options or it's so specialized you're in high demand or it's not specialized to the point where you can lose your job like anyone.

You would have to know someone in my field to understand this. So many people think it's like a nursing job.

Honestly, it sounds more like a social worker job to me, based on what I've read. I can understand why a regular regional hospital would not be hiring for this position on the reg, but I'm not sure what makes the DC area so special. If you lose your job at Children's, where would you go work?

There are 2 other hospitals in the area with childlife jobs. The fact that we are already here makes it easier to stay. I wish my husband would just make up his mind about what he wants. He really wants me to stop working and become a sahm.

So it sounds like you think his strategy was to go to graduate school and get a job in a city where you can't find a job. Your job, by the way, does not sound like something you could sustain a family on in this area in the event that your husband doesn't have the easy time finding work here that you expect. You guys need to go to counseling. If you are simultaneously frightened that you will lose your job and unwilling to move to another city because you're frightened that your husband really just wants you to stop working outside the home all together, you need to have a conversation with him in a situation where he can't weasel out of it.

It sounds honestly like you guys need an adult life specialist who can help you sort out your priorities as a family and provide strategies for coping, which you both seem to lack.

Anonymous wrote:

There are 2 other hospitals in the area with childlife jobs. The fact that we are already here makes it easier to stay. I wish my husband would just make up his mind about what he wants. He really wants me to stop working and become a sahm.

The bolded is your real problem. Just remember you control that. No one can make you stop working and become a SAHM. If your DH takes a job in another city without discussing with you, you can make it clear to him that neither you nor the children are going with him unless you have a similar job for yourself lined up. You will have to be prepared to divorce if that is the position you want to take.

In reality, the best thing is for you two to work in tandem -- give him a list of all the places in the country where you think you would have a good chance of finding a job. Ask him to check in with you weekly about where he's a applied and where he is getting interest. Do your research and put out feelers at the same time in these locations and ask him to strategize about how to raise your needs in the hiring process. Ask him to also apply for jobs here. Even if he feels like he will get turned down, make him understand that it's important to you that you see evidence that he tried to apply for something within commuting distance of your current home. Now is the time to network and work every contact you have (both of you) to try to make the situation turn out well for both of you. Remain flexible in how you think about commuting. I know many academics with tenure track who don't actually live in the university town, but do do serious car/train or air travel to make it work until they are more successful and can move to a better location.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My academic job search was also constrained by my husband's pediatric specialty job, which means that we needed to look in cities with children's hospitals (or within a reasonable commuting distance).

I'm surprised you guys haven't had a frank discussion about this yet--this needs to happen so you're both on the same page re: where he applies.

We have had many conversations about this and that's why it's so frustrating. He keeps flip flopping about what he wants. His friend recently accepted a 100k assistant professor position in Tennessee. He's been looking for similar jobs ever since he found about his friends position.

Where in Tennessee? You could definitely work in Nashville (Vanderbilt University Children's Hospital??), which is actually pretty diverse and a great city.

Ditto Georgia, frankly.

Memphis Tennessee could work. I need to work at a children's research hospital focused on children's catastrophic diseases. I am NOT nurse. I know this all sounds strange but my field is truly very very specialized. There are only 10 or so universities with this degree in the US.

OP, out of curiosity, what counts as a catastrophic disease for children? I looked it up and found a lot of state-level funds to help pay for expenses associated with catastrophic diseases, but no list as to what they are.

My job title is child life specialist. There are usually 15 to 30 jobs posted. To find a job in child life, many of my co workers have had to relocate to a different state.[b]

Cerebral palsy
Sickle cell anemia
Cystic fibrosis
Cancer
AIDS
Epilepsy
Spina bifida
Congenital heart problems

The irony here is palpable.

By co workers I meant the interns. In childlife we have to do a year long internship. Many of the interns have had to move to find jobs.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in Ohio? It has three big cities.....

Oxford, Ohio

Why not here?

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

Yes this could work but that would be one hell of a commute! I like having choices here in DC . It's nice knowing that I could find a job here in case something were to happen to my current job. I think I am always a bit worried about losing my job.

This makes no sense. Your job is so specialized that 10 universities confer degrees in the area and only a handful of hospitals cater to it yet you also want lots of options and are afraid of losing your job. Those two things are incompatible. Either it's specialized and rare or you can have lots of options or it's so specialized you're in high demand or it's not specialized to the point where you can lose your job like anyone.

You would have to know someone in my field to understand this. So many people think it's like a nursing job.

I don't care what the job is. I'm just saying you're talking out of both sides of your mouth saying you need to have options for job loss AND that its so specialized there's only a few hospitals in the country that you could work at. That only 10 schools confer these degrees but you still fear job loss. Highly specialized careers with only a few experts don't fear job loss because they're in demand and there's not many of them. If only a few hospitals have this area, you don't have "plenty" of options no matter where you live. The job is irrelevant to me aside from you're engaging in mental gymnastics to explain why you just CANNOT do it anywhere else but here.

There are 3 hospitals in this city with jobs in my field . In other cities it's almost always one hospital and the positions available would be fewer. DC is also a great city for statisticians.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in Ohio? It has three big cities.....

Oxford, Ohio

Why not here?

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

Yes this could work but that would be one hell of a commute! I like having choices here in DC . It's nice knowing that I could find a job here in case something were to happen to my current job. I think I am always a bit worried about losing my job.

This makes no sense. Your job is so specialized that 10 universities confer degrees in the area and only a handful of hospitals cater to it yet you also want lots of options and are afraid of losing your job. Those two things are incompatible. Either it's specialized and rare or you can have lots of options or it's so specialized you're in high demand or it's not specialized to the point where you can lose your job like anyone.

You would have to know someone in my field to understand this. So many people think it's like a nursing job.

Honestly, it sounds more like a social worker job to me, based on what I've read. I can understand why a regular regional hospital wou

ld not be hiring for this position on the reg, but I'm not sure what makes the DC area so special. If you lose your job at Children's, where would you go work?

There are 2 other hospitals in the area with childlife jobs. The fact that we are already here makes it easier to stay. I wish my husband would just make up his mind about what he wants. He really wants me to stop working and become a sahm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the hell has this not come up in your marriage until now? You presumably knew you would not want to move for work and also knew his track would require moving. So neither of you thought to discuss this until he was applying for jobs?

This has come up A LOT. Like I said my husband is not direct about which sector he wants to go into. We bought a house 2 years ago because I thought we were planning on living here.

Then I would suggest marriage counseling because you two are literally leading two separate lives in your minds.

What did he think? What do you guys talk about?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in Ohio? It has three big cities.....

Oxford, Ohio

Why not here?

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

Yes this could work but that would be one hell of a commute! I like having choices here in DC . It's nice knowing that I could find a job here in case something were to happen to my current job. I think I am always a bit worried about losing my job.

This makes no sense. Your job is so specialized that 10 universities confer degrees in the area and only a handful of hospitals cater to it yet you also want lots of options and are afraid of losing your job. Those two things are incompatible. Either it's specialized and rare or you can have lots of options or it's so specialized you're in high demand or it's not specialized to the point where you can lose your job like anyone.

You would have to know someone in my field to understand this. So many people think it's like a nursing job.

I don't care what the job is. I'm just saying you're talking out of both sides of your mouth saying you need to have options for job loss AND that its so specialized there's only a few hospitals in the country that you could work at. That only 10 schools confer these degrees but you still fear job loss. Highly specialized careers with only a few experts don't fear job loss because they're in demand and there's not many of them. If only a few hospitals have this area, you don't have "plenty" of options no matter where you live. The job is irrelevant to me aside from you're engaging in mental gymnastics to explain why you just CANNOT do it anywhere else but here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in Ohio? It has three big cities.....

Oxford, Ohio

Why not here?

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

Yes this could work but that would be one hell of a commute! I like having choices here in DC . It's nice knowing that I could find a job here in case something were to happen to my current job. I think I am always a bit worried about losing my job.

This makes no sense. Your job is so specialized that 10 universities confer degrees in the area and only a handful of hospitals cater to it yet you also want lots of options and are afraid of losing your job. Those two things are incompatible. Either it's specialized and rare or you can have lots of options or it's so specialized you're in high demand or it's not specialized to the point where you can lose your job like anyone.

You would have to know someone in my field to understand this. So many people think it's like a nursing job.

Honestly, it sounds more like a social worker job to me, based on what I've read. I can understand why a regular regional hospital would not be hiring for this position on the reg, but I'm not sure what makes the DC area so special. If you lose your job at Children's, where would you go work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to the quick google search, there are loads of the jobs all over the place and in all kinds of hospitals- not just specialized children's hospitals.

http://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Child+Life+Specialist

All of those jobs are in specialized children's hospitals.

Why does it have to be in a specialized children't hospital?

Almost every children's hospital has a childlife program but an urban area is always going to be my best bet. They have more positions available. So here in DC we have 30 child life specialists at my work but in Cincinnati it would be a lot less. I'm not completely opposed to moving somewhere else. It just seems almost impossible for us both to find jobs unless we move to more of an urban area. Athens, GA or Oxford , Ohio would be too far of a commute IF I could find in the nearest city .

But that's just the point. Looking at that quick list there are many more jobs currently available than you thought. The point being, you can move and still find a great job. You have flexibility and I'm sure if you two TALK about it there's a compromise to be made. I think the other part that you need to consider is that it may be time to put his career first. Again, it doesn't mean that he gets to choose wherever he wants, but it does mean that you suck it up a bit and potentially get a non-perfect job in a non-ideal city for a while.

That's not necessarily true. I am not ok with moving before finding a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in Ohio? It has three big cities.....

Oxford, Ohio

Why not here?

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

Yes this could work but that would be one hell of a commute! I like having choices here in DC . It's nice knowing that I could find a job here in case something were to happen to my current job. I think I am always a bit worried about losing my job.

This makes no sense. Your job is so specialized that 10 universities confer degrees in the area and only a handful of hospitals cater to it yet you also want lots of options and are afraid of losing your job. Those two things are incompatible. Either it's specialized and rare or you can have lots of options or it's so specialized you're in high demand or it's not specialized to the point where you can lose your job like anyone.

You would have to know someone in my field to understand this. So many people think it's like a nursing job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to the quick google search, there are loads of the jobs all over the place and in all kinds of hospitals- not just specialized children's hospitals.

http://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=Child+Life+Specialist

All of those jobs are in specialized children's hospitals.

Why does it have to be in a specialized children't hospital?

Almost every children's hospital has a childlife program but an urban area is always going to be my best bet. They have more positions available. So here in DC we have 30 child life specialists at my work but in Cincinnati it would be a lot less. I'm not completely opposed to moving somewhere else. It just seems almost impossible for us both to find jobs unless we move to more of an urban area. Athens, GA or Oxford , Ohio would be too far of a commute IF I could find in the nearest city .

But that's just the point. Looking at that quick list there are many more jobs currently available than you thought. The point being, you can move and still find a great job. You have flexibility and I'm sure if you two TALK about it there's a compromise to be made. I think the other part that you need to consider is that it may be time to put his career first. Again, it doesn't mean that he gets to choose wherever he wants, but it does mean that you suck it up a bit and potentially get a non-perfect job in a non-ideal city for a while.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the hell has this not come up in your marriage until now? You presumably knew you would not want to move for work and also knew his track would require moving. So neither of you thought to discuss this until he was applying for jobs?

This has come up A LOT. Like I said my husband is not direct about which sector he wants to go into. We bought a house 2 years ago because I thought we were planning on living here.

Then I would suggest marriage counseling because you two are literally leading two separate lives in your minds.

Anonymous wrote:How the hell has this not come up in your marriage until now? You presumably knew you would not want to move for work and also knew his track would require moving. So neither of you thought to discuss this until he was applying for jobs?

This has come up A LOT. Like I said my husband is not direct about which sector he wants to go into. We bought a house 2 years ago because I thought we were planning on living here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where in Ohio? It has three big cities.....

Oxford, Ohio

Why not here?

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

Yes this could work but that would be one hell of a commute! I like having choices here in DC . It's nice knowing that I could find a job here in case something were to happen to my current job. I think I am always a bit worried about losing my job.

This makes no sense. Your job is so specialized that 10 universities confer degrees in the area and only a handful of hospitals cater to it yet you also want lots of options and are afraid of losing your job. Those two things are incompatible. Either it's specialized and rare or you can have lots of options or it's so specialized you're in high demand or it's not specialized to the point where you can lose your job like anyone.