Reply to If you are in a second marriage/blended family, are you happy?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If you are in a second marriage/blended family, are you happy?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am very surprised to see the vitriol toward remarried parents here.

I have an original family and have never been, nor do I think I will ever be, divorced. But I still think that post-divorce, if someone wants to get remarried there isn't really anything selfish about that, provided the new spouse is a good person. It almost seems to me like people are looking at the wrong variable here - of course divorce is sad and hard and children bear the brunt of it. But a child of divorce with a single parent or parents doesn't seem like they'd be happier than the child of divorce with a nice step-parent. The kids I knew growing up with divorced parents could be emotional messes with messy lives, but having a step-parent didn't make that worse automatically. I guess I don't get the hate toward parents who fall in love again?[/quote]

I think this poster is exactly right.

My divorce was ugly and it was very hard on my DC. That fact remains true--whether I remarry or whether I remain single.

In my case, I wanted my children to see alternative modelling for what a father can be. Their father has some wonderful attributes (creative, free-thinker) but all those strengths can be flipped around (he's unreasonable, impossible to employ, questioning authority and rebellious). The result is someone fun and entertaining but irresponsible. I don't have a brother or a father (they both died) and I wanted my kids to see different ways of being in this world. I didn't want my daughter marrying someone she's responsible for and I didn't want my son becoming someone like my father. I realize it's not in my control who they ultimately elect to be, but in my case, I chose to remarry and give them another template. My second husband is a very responsible and very caring person. I don't know if either DC will ever want or need this different model, but it's there if they need to learn from it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics