Reply to If you are in a second marriage/blended family, are you happy?

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Reply to "If you are in a second marriage/blended family, are you happy?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Child of divorce. I'm from my dad's second family. He's had 4 groups of kids. We are all learning as adults how to function as adults who love each other (or at least the shared parent) but it isn't a true sibling relationship like my friends have. One of my half-sibs is probably one of my favorite people in the whole world. We just click. One hates my guts, but the reasons why are simply false. Everyone has told him that. He had mental illness and is fixated on me as the cause of all his troubles. One is like a close acquaintance/casual friend. Yet another is essentially stranger to me and twice we have passed each other in public places and never noticed until someone else said something. In all honesty, my parents' horror of a marriage for 14 years was far worse than being in a blended family although the divorce did mean that my mom moved to the hood while my stepmom lived in the 'burbs. As an adult, I'm glad to have my half-siblings (even the one that hates me).

I also have two step sisters. One is a FB friend and our kids are playmates. The other, I don't know from a can of paint. I've basically purged my mind of anything negative I ever heard about them and given up resenting the 5 years they got to live with my dad.

My future stepson was 19 when I met him. He's finishing up college a couple months after I marry his dad so he's not in need of any true parenting from me. I like him, but I treat him as I do the teen and young adult children of close friends. I care about him and them, but lack the ferocious maternal feeling I have for my own two kids. It seems like he likes me, but his dad had another long term girlfriend that he got attached to, then they split. He's guarded I think and we see him only a few weekends other than major holidays so bonding is difficult. I don't think I really impact his life that much other than an extra $50 in his stocking at Christmas and a care package during exam week. His mom is sane and has her own life OOS so she and my fiancé don't have conflict.

My own ex has had more girlfriends/fiancées/whatevers than my kids and I can count. It never lasts. He got married this year and it lasted about 110 days. This does impact my kids. The older one opted out years ago as soon as a judge would listen to her. The younger one is very distrustful of her dad's female friends and coworkers. She thinks each one is a potential new SO that she has to adjust to and then feel bad when they split. [/quote]

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